


Hey Guess What?

by RunAwayForEternity



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, But is it really?, Comedy, Eventual Romance, Family Feels, Feelings Realization, Happy Ending, Harassment, Hurt/Comfort, Kang Taehyun-Centric, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Minor OC Death, based off blue orangeade, beomgyu's mom is ill, bestest friend kai, established yeonbin, happy beomgyu, he's not mean just distant, im sorry our gyu gets picked on, it's not really though, light bullying, lots of kisses, misunderstood taehyun, one sided crush, optimistic beomgyu, slow burn?, spoiler: its not one sided, taehyun bamf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunAwayForEternity/pseuds/RunAwayForEternity
Summary: “I like you!”Kang Taehyun dreads hearing those three little words the most.To a normal person, a confession might bring excitement, a bit of flattery, and even hope. However for taehyun, it brings him great discomfort, irritation, and a heavy weight on his shoulders.Until one day, he finally understands the joy in hearing someone tell you how much they love you.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 85
Kudos: 209





	1. I Like You!

**Author's Note:**

> Warning!  
> This writing is in no way related to the real life members. This is completely fictional and simply just for fun. Please enjoy!
> 
> Please note: i love enhypen and all other idols that make an appearance. their characters are completely fiction and for the sake of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a little fic im doing for gyu's birthday!  
> I got carried away and it ended up way longer than I expected lol

“I like you!”

The pretty girl blinked up at taehyun, her eyes shining with joy and happiness, and maybe a bit of shyness. After all, she just confessed her feelings to a popular and good looking boy at her university. Her nerves were unsteady and her heart was pounding out of her chest. 

This is it, _she finally did it._ She finally mustered up the courage to ask if she could speak to Kang Taehyun alone and he said yes! He was always polite, and he was just so handsome. She couldnt believe her luck. 

So with baited breath, she waited for him to say something next. It was hard to read his face, taehyun was a somewhat distant student. However, that slight space he keeps between himself and everyone else is what adds to his charm. Every person who falls for taehyun just wants to be the one to finally fill that gap, they crave to become closer to him. If they managed to be the only one taehyun didnt keep at an arm’s reach, then they can even go as far as saying they are special. The idea was intoxicating: to be Kang Taehyun’s _special person._

“Ok, cool,” came the much awaited response. 

She released her breath, a bit confused. 

Taehyun didnt say anything more, and continued to just stare at her with gorgeous eyes that held no familiarity or excitement at all. Not for a single second did his eyes reflect the joy she was feeling in that moment. 

However, she will not be deterred. Everyone knows that its not easy getting close to kang taehyun. She’s heard the stories of many others before her, in this exact situation, getting rejected by his blunt politeness. 

“So...will you go out with me? Be my boyfriend?” she clarified, connecting her hands behind her back in anxiousness. She didnt want him to see how much she was nervous. Kang taehyun was clever and noticed everything. 

“No,” taehyun flat out rejected her. It wasnt a harsh ‘no,’ it was...just a simple... _‘no.’_

Now she was getting desperate. Her hope was slipping quickly through her fingers. “B-but..i like you,” was all she had to say, gulping down the lump in her throat. 

Taehyun continued to look directly into her eyes, and still there was...nothing. “You said that already. What do you want me to do about it?” he asked genuinely. He wasnt being mean, just still a cold politeness that somehow made it so much worse. 

She stood there in silence, the moment dragging on. Taehyun wasnt rude, he didnt walk away. He waited patiently for her to respond. He was not a jerk, he treated everyone fairly. It was one of the many reasons why so many people on campus ended up liking him once they crossed paths with him. 

“I...dont know,” she answered truthfully. “I didnt think i would get this far, if im being honest.” It was just a moment of bravery she was feeling that day, and with encouragement from her friends, she seized that opportunity of bravery and approached him before she could back herself out of it. 

So here we are now, in this moment that wasnt planned. 

Taehyun finally gathered the situation up and decided to put an end to this. He took in a deep breath to help him muster up all of his patience and good will. 

“Okay, well what did you expect?” he asked her. “Did you want me to congratulate you? Did you want me to confess back to you? I dont even _know_ you. You never once tried to get to know me on a personal level, you never approached me before, so essentially you are a stranger to me. I dont even know your name. Before this moment, i barely recognized you in my literature class. There's another 50 students at least that share the class with us, how am i supposed to recognize you with all of those faces in the crowd? Now that you confessed to me, what do you plan on doing afterward?” 

She stood there, listening to him, and she felt…. _ashamed._ Heat creeped up onto her face, and she became mortified. She was the one getting rejected, so why does she feel guilty and at fault? 

And just like many people before her, she wasn't mad at Kang Taehyun for being straight forward. How could she be, when she knows he’s _right?_

She needed to reflect on herself. She never once took his feelings into consideration. She never once got to know him, not even as a friend or fellow classmate. She just saw him from afar and thought he was handsome, and tall, he was smart and athletic. He had an aura and magnetism around him that just drew people in, and so...she developed a crush on him. 

How... _selfish and shallow_ of her. What kind of person does that make her?

And once again, like the many people before her...she bowed in goodbye with a stunned expression on her face and slowly left taehyun alone. 

~

“I like you!”

Taehyun slightly tensed when hearing those words again. 

Same words, different day. He released a small and tired breath. 

He was a little impatient today, this having been the second confession of this month. Usually the confessions are more spaced out from each other. He can take a week or two, sometimes a whole month, before he has to mutter the same words he has memorized by now and crush another person’s feelings. He’s not a monster, he doesnt _enjoy_ turning people down. He just wants to live a quiet uni life and get his degree and figure out his next step in the world. Is that too much to ask for?

“Okay cool,” he replied, looking slightly up at the boy who just confessed his feelings to him. Well...that was different. Usually he was taller than the other person (besides soobin and yeonjun), and he doesnt really know why he noticed this small and insignificant detail. “What do you want me to do about it?” he asked genuinely (once again). 

The boy’s dark brown eyes widened, and they were filled with such joy and excitement. He blinked at taehyun shamelessly and then he reached a hand up to brush some of his own dark bangs out of his eyes so he can see taehyun clearer. Taehyun continued to stare at him, knowing that his stare can be a bit unnerving to most people. He blames it on his wide eyes.

But this boy's response was not a familiar one. He reacted a bit differently from what taehyun was used to. 

“Hmmm,” the boy hummed, leaning his face a little bit closer to taehyun’s. Taehyun noted that the other boy didnt seem to be bothered by his direct eye contact. Very few people could meet his gaze completely. “I just thought i should let you know.” 

“Okay, well what did you expect?” he asked him, playing off his unfortunate script. “Did you want me to congratulate you? Did you want me to confess back to you? I dont even know you. You never once tried to get to know me on a personal level, you never approached me before, so essentially you are a stranger to me. I dont even know your name,” taehyun told him. 

Surely now he will experience the rejection or maybe the shock that usually comes after he points this out to the confessor. 

_Wrong._

“You’re absolutely right!” the other boy agreed happily. “How rude of me. My name is Choi Beomgyu! I am a year older than you, but i had to quit uni for a little while and now im back and retaking some classes. So now that you know my name, can i get to know you more? Pretty please with a strawberry on top?” he chuckled. Then he continued to talk. “I would have said cherry on top, as the saying goes, but i know you like strawberries slightly more so i figured that was more fitting. Ok, its dumb, i know but-”

Taehyun stared at him with a bit of surprise, the rest of the boy’s words muddling up somewhere in the back of his brain. He was still registering what the other was saying, but his mind was also going into a different direction. 

Wait, this isnt playing out how he thought it would. This isnt going how he was used to. 

The boy, choi beomgyu, just asked him if he could get to know him more. What does he even say to that? 

No?

Get lost?

Go away?

That’s not very nice, and normal people dont do that. For once in his life, taehyun was tongue tied. And its not even because of something huge. 

Who would have thought, the very clever and well-spoken Kang Taehyun, would be at a loss for words when asked if someone can get to know him better? He wanted to laugh, feeling like he was having one of those ‘who am i?’ existential crises people joke about all the time. 

This conversation was going all over the place, and it was time he took a firm grasp of the situation. 

“Beomgyu-ssi,” he began. He needs to put his foot down, right here right now. Beomgyu just confessed to him and he needs to be straight forward first and foremost. “If this is some kind of grand plan where you try to make me fall in love with you, then i ask you politely to please not waste my time.” he knows where this might end up going. It was kind of cliche really. Beomgyu was going to try and 'hang out' with him, and then hope that taehyun will reciprocate his feelings. 

Beomgyu leaned away, but it wasnt disappointment that taehyun saw on his face. It was actually a smile. 

He _laughed._

“Hyung!” he yelled out. 

Taehyun was confused. “Huh?” 

“Call me beomgyu _hyung!_ You dont have to be so polite,” beomgyu giggled. Then he looked at taehyun with soft affectionate eyes, and it made taehyun uneasy for some reason. “And i appreciate your bluntness. I assure you, this was not some kind of grand scheme to get you to fall in love with me!” he playfully hit taehyun’s arm, but taehyun barely felt it. 

“Then what-”

“I just said that i like you. That doesnt mean i expect anything from you,” beomgyu told him with a compassionate facial expression. “I like being around you, and i want to be around you more often. Let’s be friends! Pals! Amigos!” beomgyu clapped, jumping up and down a little bit. He was enjoying himself so much, that it was kind of contagious.

“But how can you like me so much already when we barely know each other? You’re in my music diversity class, right?” taehyun asked. He still didnt really know how to read this situation. 

“Yep! Im retaking it this semester! And i just know that i like you a hell of a lot. Its one of those instinctual kinds of things, you get me?” 

Taehyun almost felt a little flustered at the casual way this boy was just shouting to the world how much he liked him. And no, he didnt _get him_ at all. You dont just like someone by a single glance. This isnt one of those cliche love at first sight things that everyone reads about in romance novels. 

Right? 

“I mean, well, no-” taehyun kind of spluttered. He’s never spluttered before. 

Beomgyu’s face dropped, a sigh escaping his pretty lips. “I know, i know. Hyuka always says i wear my heart on my sleeve too much and that i should be more careful. But who cares what he says!” he laughed boisterously. He put his hands on his hips and leaned back, showing all his teeth as he continued. "Hyuka isn't here to stop me!" 

Taehyun nodded, unable to follow along. This kid just went into all kinds of directions. 

“Anyways, what’s your schedule like tomorrow? Can i have your number? Lets hang out after you get done with your classes. Pretty pleaseeee,” he begged, blinking cute puppy dog eyes at him. And taehyun was kind of shell shocked by now, so he just agreed easily.

They exchanged numbers, and beomgyu skipped along with taehyun, chatting aimlessly about the randomest things while taehyun walked over to the university’s gym. It was time for his afternoon workout. 

He asked the most ridiculous and childish questions, but still taehyun answered back truthfully the best he could. It was the polite thing to do. 

“What’s your favorite color?” beomgyu asked. 

“yellow.”

“Ooo mine’s pink but i also like white too! Ok, what’s your favorite coffee drink?” 

“I dont like coffee that much, but i drink caramel macchiato occasionally,” taehyun replied. 

“I like to drink americanos!” beomgyu laughed. “You must have a sweet tooth hyun! (beomgyu has opted to calling him nicknames he made up himself without permission, but taehyun let it slide)” 

Taehyun found himself unable to not talk more in the conversation. “Wait, you actually like americanos?” he made a disgusted face over at beomgyu. 

Beomgyu snorted. “Not at all,” he answered.

Now taehyun was confused. His answers never match with his enthusiasm and mannerisms, and it always threw him for a loop. “Then why the hell do you drink that bitter ass coffee of death?” 

“Oh hyunnie, you have a lot to learn my grasshopper. Its not about the taste, its about the will to live. That americano is the only thing keeping me going throughout the day. Its practically in my blood now.” he playfully bumped taehyun’s shoulder as they walked.

Taehyun rolled his eyes. “That’s stupid. Why drink something if its not tasty?” 

“Because i want to! Ok next question! Favorite types of music?” beomgyu glanced over at taehyun.

Taehyun shrugged. “All types. I will listen to anything.”

Beomgyu then showed the widest grin on his face. “That’s amazing! Maybe ill play something for you sometime later.”

“What do you play?” taehyun wondered. 

“The guitar mostly, but i can play a bit of the piano, recorder, and other instruments. And if i dont know how to play an instrument for a song i write, then ill just learn,” beomgyu laughed, talking as if its as easy as that. 

Maybe for him it is.

“You write your own music? Like what?” taehyun was now curious. He respects people who are able to create things from nothing. He wishes he could be more like that. 

“Anything im in the mood for,” beomgyu happily answered him. He was giddy off of finally talking with his crush and his crush actually interested in some of the things he treasures. 

“That’s pretty awesome,” taehyun told him honestly. 

Beomgyu’s heart was going to explode. Taehyun was just too adorable for his own good. “If you get any cuter, maybe ill write a song just for you,” beomgyu winked, flirting shamelessly. 

Taehyun ignored him, rolling his eyes. He is learning quickly that beomgyu has no shyness whatsoever when it comes to expressing his feelings. 

“Ok, well bye hyunnie. ill text you later then!” beomgyu said suddenly, and taehyun blinked for a minute at him, completely confused. 

Then he looked at where they were, not even realizing they were in front of the gym. 

Oh. When did they get there so fast? 

“Right, goodbye,” taehyun replied back a bit abruptly. 

Beomgyu smiled and then began to skip back down the sidewalk towards the direction of his home. You wouldnt catch him dead in the gym, working out was the last thing he would willingly do. Unless its to go and basically oggle taehyun shamelessly while he exercised. Ooo thats a good idea! Maybe he will do that another day. 

Taehyun turned and headed up the steps towards the entrance of the building. But then he stopped when beomgyu called after him. 

“Hey taehyun?!” beomgyu shouted from his spot on the sidewalk. “Guess what?!” 

“What?” taehyun answered automatically, a bit confused. 

_“I like you!”_ beomgyu giggled, his laugh super cheerful and playful. He spun back around and started running away from taehyun, almost tripping on an uneven pavement in his haste. He screeched a bit at his close fall, but then turned the corner and…

He was gone. 

Taehyun stood there like an idiot, unsure of where to even begin in trying to understand what just happened. 

But he knew one thing for sure:

This boy was completely _insane._


	2. Because I Already Found It Too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves.  
> Romantic yeonbin makes an appearance.

_‘Gooooodddd morning beautiful!’_

_‘Actually wait, it’s probably still night for you, isnt it?’_

_‘Unless you are magically up at 4:30 in the morning?’_

_‘You better not be! You need your sleep in order to stay healthy!’_

_‘Dont be a late nighter like me. Im actually going to bed right now, hehe. But i wanted you to see this in the morning when you first wake up.’_

_‘Okay im going to bed now. See you later today!’_

_‘Oh and taehyun? Guess what? lololol’_

_‘I like you!’_

Taehyun rolled over, shutting off his phone alarm at 6am. He has his morning workout for about an hour and then he gets ready for his first class of the day. 

When he tapped his phone, he was surprised to see a shit ton of text messages sent to him in the night. 

He opened them up and read them all, squinting at his phone’s bright light. 

What the hell? 

It would seem beomgyu was a spam texter. They were all sent within seconds from each other. 

Taehyun sighed and closed the messaging app. What was he even supposed to say to all of that? He opted to just ignore it. 

Still, in the slight darkness of his room, he threw back the covers and got out of bed with a snort, the corner of his lip twitching. 

~

“Quick, dont look, but i think he’s coming this way,” taehyun muttered, trying to scooch farther down in his seat. He was at a round table in the dining hall with his two very good friends and also roommates, yeonjun and soobin. They have been dating since early high school, which was over five years ago, and you would never see one without the other.

“Who’s coming this way?” yeonjun said a little too loudly, and taehyun cringed. He buried his face into his meal, the contents of broccoli and rice suddenly so interesting. 

“Babe, jjuni, what did we say about our indoor voices?” soobin said soothingly, patting yeonjun’s arm to get him to turn back around and focus. Yeonjun was currently half out of his seat, his pink head of hair popping up over everyone in the dining hall like a meerkat. 

“Sit. Down.” taehyun hissed, moving his broccoli around with his fork like a child. He really needed more friends. How was he supposed to pretend to be busy when all he had to rely on was soobin and yeonjun? 

“Remember at dinner last night? Taehyun told us Choi Beomgyu confessed to him and now he’s following him around like a puppy,” soobin explained to yeonjun, making taehyun want to die in a ditch somewhere. He really hates telling soobin and yeonjun everything that goes on in his life, no matter how mundane it was.

“Oh!” yeonjun laughed. “Why didnt you say so? Yeah he’s in my dance class! He kept bugging me about taehyun today and i told him he could join our lunch table-”

“You what?!” taehyun snapped his head up at yeonjun, his eyes wide like saucers. “Hyung, why on earth would you do that-”

“Hi tyun! Hi yeonjun hyung!” a cheerful voice called out to them, interrupting whatever taehyun was going to say next. Taehyun shot a glare at yeonjun and then turned to face the newcomer- er well, _newcomers,_ as in plural. Next to beomgyu was a taller boy with a baby face, and dark brown hair. He waved excitedly to everyone at the table and honestly? Both of them side by side, all happy and shit, kind of gave taehyun a headache. Who is this cheerful in university? 

Taehyun gave beomgyu a nod of acknowledgement and then to his friend as well. 

“Beomgyu! Glad you could find us!” yeonjun called over, motioning for them to sit. Of course beomgyu didnt hesitate to drag a chair next to taehyun and sit a little too close to him. The other boy sat on soobin’s empty side. “Let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend, soobin. And this is taehyun, our son.” 

Beomgyu’s friend widened his eyes, looking from soobin to taehyun and back to yeonjun. “Oh my gosh, really-”

“No, he’s just being an idiot. We all live together as roommates in a house near campus,” taehyun interrupted him, a look of irritation on his face. He decided to ignore the attention he was getting from the boy next to him. Suddenly his food was very interesting again, and he scooted his broccoli around some more. 

“Anyways, this is hueningkai, my best friend. You can call him any nickname you want, he loves the attention,” beomgyu smiled warmly at his friend. Hueningkai waved sheepishly at everyone, all of a sudden a little shy. 

“Wow you are pretty. Are you mixed?” yeonjun asked, his eyes sparkling. :eave it to yeonjun to just blurt out whatever he was thinking.

Hueningkai blushed a bit and nodded. “Im half and half,” he replied. He was a bit self conscious talking about his origins, but yeonjun and soobin didnt seem to care, so he relaxed. It was normal for yeonjun and soobin to fawn over new people and treat them like family. That’s how taehyun got to be friends with them last year in uni when they both helped him find his classes since he was a brand new student fresh out of high school. Ever since that first day, they sort of just...melded themselves into his daily life, and now they are his only trusted friends. He didn’t need anyone else as long as he had them. 

“So how has your day been?” beomgyu asked taehyun, leaning his head on his hand and facing taehyun completely. He was giving taehyun his total undivided attention, and it was a bit weird if taehyun had to admit it. 

“Uh…” taehyun said, trying to choose his words carefully. He continued moving his food around as a distraction. “It was good i guess. Nothing too eventful,” he answered back. 

“That’s good,” beomgyu smiled, his eyes crinkling up in a sort of warm way. 

It was silent after that, besides the now animated chattering of hueningkai and soobin talking about some sort of video game they could play together later. Taehyun has no doubt that yeonjun probably already invited the other boy over to their house, and he almost let out an exhausted sigh. 

Taehyun was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didnt even think to ask how beomgyu’s day went in return. He sort of feels bad. It wasn’t good manners to do that to someone. 

However, he didnt have to linger long on the missed opportunity because suddenly beomgyu spoke again. 

“Are you not hungry? You keep playing with your vegetables,” beomgyu chuckled, looking down at taehyun’s half eaten plate of stir fry. 

“No i…” taehyun began to answer, but then stopped. For some reason he was a little embarrassed to admit that he didnt like today’s stir fry because he didnt know that it was going to be mostly broccoli and red bell peppers. Two of the things he hates to eat the most. 

It was childish, really. He didnt want to seem picky in front of other people at school. 

“I…” he continued with a small hesitance. “I’m not very hungry today,” he finished lamely. It was an obvious lie, especially when he unknowingly glanced at beomgyu’s bowl of fresh fruit and yogurt with hunger and want before he sat down next to him. 

“Hmm,” beomgyu hummed, studying taehyun’s face closely. Would he please stop doing that?! “Then can i have some? Let’s swap,” he suggested, beginning to slide his fruit and yogurt bowl over to taehyun. 

“Uh no, that’s okay-” 

“Pleaseeeee,” beomgyu begged, looking at taehyun from under his brown bangs. “I love broccoli stir fry, and i came late to lunch rush hour so all i had a chance to grab was this fruit. And oh! If your stomach is hurting, i heard yogurt can help settle it! My mom told me that once. Here, even just a bite of yogurt is better than nothing when you have an upset stomach-” he continued to ramble. 

Before taehyun could even blink, he had a small cup of yogurt with fruit in his hands, and his stir fry from hell was now being eaten by beomgyu. 

He should probably be irritated that beomgyu basically stole his lunch, but he was a little astonished at how easily he ate the broccoli and red bell peppers, two vegetables that shouldnt be allowed to exist. 

“I'm not much of an eater either, so this half portion is actually perfect. I always feel bad wasting my food,” beomgyu pouted with a mouthful of rice. 

“Oh…” taehyun said. "that wont be a problem with yeonjun and soobin around," he muttered. 

“Arent you going to eat the yogurt?” beomgyu persisted, looking at the covered cup in taehyun’s hands. 

“Sure. ill eat it later if i get hungry,” taehyun told him. He was too prideful to devour this yogurt in front of beomgyu right now. That would blow his lame cover of not being hungry. 

That seemed to appease Beomgyu enough, and so he nodded cutely and then turned his attention onto yeonjun. They started to talk about something regarding their shared class together, and taehyun was grateful he could finally relax without feeling like he was in the spotlight. 

The lunch went smoothly enough, and soon all of them had to part ways to go to their different classes on campus. 

And if taehyun finally opened up his cup of fruit and yogurt 45 minutes later in the middle of some boring economics lecture, then that was nobody’s business but his. 

_What?_ He likes strawberries, and this cup that beomgyu picked out seemed to have mostly strawberries in it. It would be a crime to waste all of his favorite fruit. 

~

“Tae-hyun-nieeee!” 

Taehyun didnt slow down his footsteps, not daring to look back. Because looking back means he’s committing to acknowledging the presence that is surely coming up behind him like a shark finding its prey. 

Its been like this all week. Everywhere taehyun goes, beomgyu magically pops up. He blames soobin, really. He knows the snitch probably sent beomgyu his semester schedule along with his daily routine, so now beomgyu knows exactly where he would be and when. And taehyun was a routine kind of guy, so he’s pretty much doomed. 

“Did i ever tell you that you look great in those jeans?!” 

Beomgyu just screamed that at the top of his lungs...in the middle of campus...in front of everyone. 

Taehyun sped up, ducking his head to avoid the funny looks and snickers coming from the few jocks and other students nearby. He would _not_ flush in embarrassment, taehyun did not get easily embarrassed. 

An arm wrapped around taehyun’s shoulders, and he tensed up immediately. He wasnt used to people hanging all over him all the time. Yeonjun and soobin were pretty touchy people, but he only saw them during lunch and when he got home, so it was more spaced out. However, beomgyu on the other hand...somehow seemed to pop in like every few hours and it was starting to become overwhelming. 

Taehyun knocked his arm off and then sighed. “What did you want, hyung?” 

“Hmmm, nothing. Arent you going to work out today?” beomgyu asked. 

“No, im going home early. I have a huge biology exam tomorrow afternoon i need to study for,” taehyun reluctantly answered him. 

Beomgyu made a cute ‘o’ face, and then he brightened up. “We can go home together then!!” he clapped happily, adjusting his backpack better onto his shoulders as he easily kept up with taehyun’s fast walking pace. 

That’s a first. Usually taehyun has to slow down for other people because of his long legs. And despite beomgyu saying how lazy and tired he is all the time, he certainly has plenty of energy and stamina. 

Its a stupid thing to notice, taehyun knows this, but he cant help how his brain works sometimes. 

“Im taking the bus,” taehyun told him, implying that no, they do not have to go home together.

“Me too!” beomgyu chirped. Taehyun winced. “We live near each other, silly.” 

Now it was time taehyun becomes alerted. “You...know where i live?” he asked cautiously, finally glancing over to look at beomgyu with apprehension. 

Beomgyu saw the suspicious look on his face and snorted, bringing his hand up to his mouth to giggle. “Im not a stalker. Its literally written all over your face. We’ve taken the same bus many times before, and plus yeonjun hyung invited me and hyuka over for dinner once his exam for the week is over. Stop being so paranoid,” he playfully slapped taehyun’s shoulder. 

Taehyun relaxed a little bit after that. Ok, he _was_ being silly. He should have known yeonjun and soobin would invite a newcomer over, giving out their address and everything. They do it all the time. Its just, beomgyu has been up in his business so much that he’s grown weary and a bit exhausted. 

And then something else registered through his scattered thoughts. “We’ve taken the same bus before?” 

Beomgyu nodded. “Mmhmm-mmhmm. Its actually how i first saw you earlier this semester before i realized we shared our music class together! You were just so beautiful, sitting there with the morning sun glowing on your face as you stared out the window. Literally, it looked like a scene from a movie. Your side profile is also very handsome, i had no choice but to stare in awe.”

Taehyun’s step stuttered a bit after that confession. What the hell? That's the first time someone told him something so weird like that. 

“And then! And thennnn!! I saw you a few days after that, in the afternoon. I took the bus later than usual, and you must have just finished up working out at the gym. Because your brown hair was all fluffy from the shower im assuming, and the wind blew it all over the place. And you were trying to keep it out of your eyes and it was the funniest thing ever,” beomgyu laughed lightly into his sleeve. 

Brown hair...taehyun has _blonde_ hair currently, so this must have happened literally the very first week of this semester some time… at least a month ago. 

Beomgyu continued to ramble while taehyun still continued to speed walk to the bus stop. “But then! You dyed your hair that bright blonde and _oh wow._ My heart literally stopped. I swear i wouldnt even have known it was you if i didnt see your face first before you sat down on the bus. By the way, the blonde suits you really well. I mean, you would look hella fine no matter what color you wore, but blonde really makes your skin have this sun kissed glow to it-”

Taehyun continued to keep silent. What was he even supposed to say back to all of this? Beomgyu literally has no filter on his mouth. Isnt he embarrassed admitting these things? Taehyun would have thought he was exaggerating, but the sparkly look in his eyes while talking about taehyun’s physical attributes was proof enough to squash that theory. 

Now they are at the bus stop, waiting for the next bus to come. Beomgyu stopped chattering, thank god, and they are just standing there in silence while the warm breeze washed over their faces. 

Taehyun’s mind was reeling, and something started to bother him. 

“Do you…” he began, and beomgyu’s attention was immediately back on him. “Do you really like my physical features that much?” 

It was a straightforward question. But there was an underlying meaning taehyun was trying to get at. He was fishing for an answer to a question he didnt quite know how to ask. 

_Are my outward looks the only thing you like about me?_

Beomgyu was silent for a few long drawn out seconds, and he continued to just _stare_ at taehyun silently. Taehyun thinks beomgyu’s constant chattering is somewhat annoying, but he finds that beomgyu’s silence is even more irritating. 

“Hmm,” beomgyu hummed. He seems to do that every time he’s really thinking about something. 

Taehyun refused to look at him. He kept the older boy in his peripheral vision while he stared out into the street as the occasional cars drove by. 

Then beomgyu smiled. It wasnt one of those overly excited smiles he shows most often, with all of his teeth on display. It was just a warm smile that lifted up the corners of his lips slightly. 

“I think...Even if you didnt look absolutely gorgeous in the first colors of the morning sun, sitting there all majestic like a painting (taehyun snorted, is this guy for real?), i would still like you.”

Taehyun stood very still, turning his head slightly towards beomgyu but still not meeting his gaze head on. 

Beomgyu...didnt answer his question. Not the one he spoke out loud. 

Then beomgyu linked his hands together in front of him and stretched out his back while he spoke. “You are really handsome! You should be proud! But that’s not why i started to develop a crush on you. Its all about the personality, am i right?!” he laughed. 

The...personality…

Was that beomgyu’s way of saying that he liked taehyun’s personality the most? 

Not many people like his personality and way of thinking so wholeheartedly and with such a good nature. He’s had countless group projects with other classmates where they could never see eye to eye. He always ends up butting heads with at least one person he crosses paths with. He was a very strong spoken person, and not everybody is ok with that. 

“Ohhh i think the bus is here!” beomgyu said, looking over at the vehicle turning the corner and heading straight for them. Taehyun snapped out of his thoughts, the moment now gone. He decided to let it go.

Taehyun boarded the bus first, heading straight to his usual spot by a window. He was about to put his bag down next to him in the hopes that a random stranger wont sit by him later, but before he even managed to swing his bag around, the spot was already taken up by beomgyu.

“What are you doing?” he asked. He thought that they would just go their separate ways once on the bus, but apparently that’s not what beomgyu had in mind. 

“Can i sit by you, pleaseee?” beomgyu asked, batting his pretty lashes at taehyun in the hopes that his cute act would work. 

It didnt, but taehyun had no choice since the bus was already moving and beomgyu seemed to be planted in the spot, not daring to budge. 

Well, at least he wont have to worry about a gross stranger sitting next to him. But he's not even sure if that is as bad compared to beomgyu chattering away like a tweeting bird.

Taehyun sighed and turned the other way, leaning against the window and watching as they drove past the city and surrounding suburbs. 

Beomgyu hummed in content and hugged his bag on his lap. His shoulder bumped next to taehyun’s, but it wasnt completely uncomfortable for him. Taehyun thought he was going to have to suffer through another one of beomgyu’s long rants about nothing, but he took him by surprise again and remained silent. 

Well, taehyun can tolerate that he guesses. It would seem beomgyu wasn’t always super energetic and obnoxious. He at least knows when to be quiet depending on the mood. 

When they began to approach their stop, taehyun finally leaned off the glass window and turned to look at beomgyu. He was quietly nodding off to sleep, his dark bangs brushing over his face and hiding his eyes. 

After a week since beomgyu’s confession, taehyun stopped to really study beomgyu for the first time. He’s just been swept up in the whirlwind of this boy’s constant energy and mood swings that he hasnt had a time to properly sort out his thoughts and grasp the situation he was in. 

Beomgyu was...really pretty. In fact, taehyun was a little confused on why beomgyu insisted that _he_ was the gorgeous one. Taehyun wasnt beautiful. He always thinks he’s you know, handsome. He’s got a sharp jawline and a proud nose bridge and wide eyes. But beomgyu...had delicate features, and soft looking skin, and really nice shaped lips. His eyelashes were dark and they framed his eyes in a stunning way and splayed so prettily against his cheeks while he slept. His body was slim, but not skinny. He could practically wear anything he wanted with his evenly balanced proportions. And his hands were, well...really lovely. There was no other way to say it. 

Taehyun blinked and snapped out of his thoughts. The bus just stopped and is opening up its doors. 

“Hey, hyung. We’re here, get up,” he nudged beomgyu’s thigh with his own. Then he swung his bag back around and stood up in a sort of half crouch to urge beomgyu up. 

Beomgyu blinked and looked around, then he shot up realizing they were at their stop. “Wow, i must have dozed off,” he said while yawning. 

They both exited off the bus and began walking home. 

“I didnt know you lived nearby,” taehyun commented, watching as beomgyu kept pace with him once again. 

“Yep!” beomgyu said, the pep back in his voice. All signs of sleepiness were now gone. “I live over there in one of the apartment buildings,” he said, pointing at a building in the distance. 

“Oh,” was all taehyun commented on. “Im in a house with yeonjun and soobin. Its the next street over,” he decided to share since he knows beomgyu and his friend hueningkai will be visiting occasionally if yeonjun has his way. 

“So you all three live together? Is it your parents' house or something?” beomgyu asked, curiosity laced into his voice. 

Normally taehyun would feel a bit uncomfortable sharing his home life with someone, but beomgyu didnt seem like the type of person to judge, so even though he was uneasy answering his questions, he took a risk.

“No, its actually soobin and yeonjun’s house. They lived together for a few years before i came along.” 

Beomgyu’s eyes got really wide. “Woahhh seriously?! That's so…”

Taehyun waited with bated breath. Here it is. 

Weird. Strange. Uncommon. 

“Cool!” beomgyu finished with a swing of his arm in excitement. 

“Huh?” taehyun asked him dumbly. 

“How did that even happen? Like, isnt it kind of expensive living in a house while going to university at the same time?!” beomgyu continued to bombard taehyun with the questions. 

This isnt a totally personal story, in fact yeonjun and soobin’s backstory is very inspiring to most people. They have no problems telling anybody who bothers to ask. 

“Yeonjun has liked soobin since they were children,” taehyun began to explain while they walked. Beomgyu’s eyes were wide and curious as he shut up and listened. It was almost like telling a story to a child, and oddly adorable on the older boy. “But soobin’s parents were...not quite as accepting with their close relationship. They tried to keep them separated for the most part.”

“Aww come on, this is the 21st century, why are people still like that?” beomgyu huffed, butting in with his random commentary. 

Taehyun snorted and continued. “But they went to the same school, so it was hard to separate them during the day. They only couldn't see each other after school. And for a while that was fine. They didnt mind it. They were best friends after all.” 

“Right, right,” beomgyu nodded, his arm occasionally brushing taehyun’s while he leaned in closer to listen.

“By the time they were in high school, it was pretty obvious they both loved each other a lot. Like, an _insane_ amount. It wasn’t very natural, especially for being a teenager and all. The only way i could describe it was almost as if they found… _‘it.’”_

“‘It’??” beomgyu asked, a little confused. "like the clown?" 

Taehyun choked on his spit, laughing really hard for a few seconds. “NO you idiot! You know… when you find a love so rare, a love you could probably never find ever again if you tried. Soobin described it as a love that was all-consuming. Like, a once in a lifetime feeling. He secretly told me that if he ever lost yeonjun, he will never ever be with anyone else until the day he dies.”

“Stoppp you’re going to make me cry,” beomgyu laughed softly, hitting taehyun playfully in the shoulder. 

“No its true!” taehyun chuckled. “They are so sappy. But here’s the funnier part. Yeonjun told me the _same thing_ one night when we were watching a rom-com movie together and soobin was at the library. Honestly, its pretty embarrassing being around them,” taehyun snorted into an ugly laugh. 

Beomgyu also snorted. “Ok, so they are madly in love. Then what happened next?” 

“Well, yeonjun asked soobin out and confessed his feelings. He was so scared that he would mess up their relationship as friends. But to his surprise soobin felt the same way, maybe even longer than yeonjun. So they spent their first night as a couple arguing about which one of them started to like the other romantically first, like it was some kind of competition. And then...soobin told his parents about their relationship. And im sure you know where this is going,” taehyun side glanced at beomgyu. 

“Ugh, dont tell me. They tried to keep soobin away from yeonjun and told him to break up with him blahblah?” beomgyu rolled his eyes. Taehyun nodded in confirmation. 

“Yeah, it wasnt pretty, but soobin and yeonjun knew it wouldnt be. Thankfully, yeonjun’s grandfather was more accepting of the situation.”

“His grandfather?” 

Taehyun hummed. “Yeah, yeonjun’s parents died when he was young, and he was raised by his grandfather. He doesnt remember his parents very much, so its not an entirely sad loss for him. And soobin said his grandfather was the best person in the world. He helped them out all the time, and he was such a caring and gentle person. Its where yeonjun gets his kindness and compassion from.”

“Was…?” beomgyu whispered. 

Taehyun smiled sadly. “Yeah, right before yeonjun graduated high school, his grandfather passed away. It was from old age, and yeonjun saw it coming for a while. Soobin said it was a tough time for yeonjun and himself as well. This is where things get a bit depressing,” taehyun warned. 

Beomgyu urged taehyun to continue with his hand. They were almost at taehyun’s house and they didnt have much time left together. He really wanted to know what happened!

“Soobin’s parents were still giving him a hard time about their relationship. They threatened to cut off his education, to send him to a relative in the country, and they even tried to forbid him from going to yeonjun’s grandfather’s funeral. But soobin stood his ground and continued to see and support yeonjun. So his parents actually kicked him out of the house and told him they werent going to support him any longer-”

“Seriously?! That’s so...stupid and cliche,” beomgyu pouted, feeling bad for soobin and yeonjun. 

“Yeah, it is. Soobin had nowhere to go, so he ended up on yeonjun’s doorstep with just a bag on his back. Obviously yeonjun wasnt going to have his boyfriend be homeless, and gladly took him in. In fact, he was overjoyed because for once in their entire relationship, they got to spend an afternoon together without worrying about being separated.”

“And then…?” beomgyu hurriedly asked. 

Taehyun gave him a playful scolding look at being interrupted. “And then came the hard part. What were they going to do now? They were still young and had to be careful. They apparently talked about it seriously for the entire night, and by morning they had a plan. They were going to move out of their city and start fresh. No more hostile parents, no more looks of pity from the people they grew up with. Yeonjun’s grandfather left him with all of his fortune, and it was just enough. Yeonjun sold the small house that he stayed in all his life, and they both just up and left and came here. Yeonjun took a year off before entering university so that he could find them both a small and nice home to live in while going to school. They both applied to our current college and got accepted. They settled into their new home and sorted out their classes. And yeonjun pays for both their education expenses. Soobin tried to argue, saying he could pay for it himself, that he wasn’t going to live off of yeonjun’s inheritance, but yeonjun wasnt having any of it. They finally settled their first argument, with soobin working to pay for food and other smaller expenses, and yeonjun was going to work to pay for the utilities and things like that. They will only touch yeonjun’s inheritance for school and emergencies. Its what his grandfather would have wanted anyways. So now, they are about 4 years into their education at college, with one more year to go. Maybe longer if soobin wants to pursue his Ph.D in psychology like he’s always dreamed of doing before his parents cut ties with him. Yeonjun has been secretly saving up extra money for him just in case. Graduate school isnt cheap, but Yeonjun would give soobin the world if he could.”

They both paused, taehyun’s house not too far away now. This is where they need to part ways, since beomgyu’s apartment complex was a little bit farther, a couple streets from here. 

“That's…” beomgyu began, biting on his bottom lip. 

“Straight from a novel?” taehyun supplied unhelpfully with a laugh. 

“So _romantic!”_ beomgyu gushed, holding his hands together to his chest. “Just wow. Im seriously going to cry, what the fuck?” 

Taehyun rolled his eyes and blew out a breath, trying to get his blonde bangs out of his face. “Yeah yeah, everyone who hears that thinks so too. You wouldnt think its as dramatic as it sounds when you live with them everyday.” 

“Still, I can kind of see where they are coming from. It's almost impossible to meet that ‘once-in-a-lifetime-love’ like they have. I guess i can consider myself also lucky!” he grinned and began to back away from taehyun, heading towards his home now that he dropped the younger boy off. 

“Why?” taehyun asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. 

“Because i already found it too!” beomgyu shouted to him now that he was getting farther away. 

Taehyun snorted, “Right. I dont think anybody can be as sappy and cheesy as those two domestic idiots.” Then taehyun turned away, heading down the sidewalk towards his front door. 

“Tae-hyun-nieeee!” he heard beomgyu shout really loud. 

He sighed and turned back to glare at him for being so obnoxious in his neighborhood. 

“Hey guess what?!” he yelled, still backing away so that he was quite a distance. The distance didnt seem to be a problem for his loud voice though. 

“What?” taehyun answered back tiredly. 

“I like you!” beomgyu giggled, bringing up his sleeve and hiding behind his hand. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve said that before,” taehyun replied, walking up his porch and going into his house. 

  
  


Taehyun didn't really understand the hidden meaning behind beomgyu’s earlier words until a few minutes later, when he was taking off his shoes and walking into the kitchen to see yeonjun and soobin giggling at the stove, soobin leaning over to give yeonjun a light kiss on the cheek. 

Wait. 

_“I guess i can consider myself also lucky!"  
_ _“Because i already found it too!”  
_ _"Hey guess what?!”_

_“I like you!”_

Soobin turned around when he noticed the other presence in the room. “Oh! Taehyun! You’re back early today!” he smiled. “Dinner is almost ready and then we can sit down together and eat-” his smile dropped slightly when he took in taehyun’s appearance. “Is everything alright? Your face seems kind of flushed.” 

Taehyun blinked, ignoring the slight heat that creeped up on his cheeks. “Yeah,” he muttered. “It’s nothing.”


	3. How Is He Doing By The Way?

“Hyung, hyung!” beomgyu called out, running up to yeonjun as fast as he could. Yeonjun stopped walking and turned, his eyebrows raised in question.

“Our little gyu bear. Whats up?” he asked with a coo, reaching over to squeeze beomgyu’s cheeks.

Beomgyu panted, trying to catch his breath. He doesnt have much time until taehyun’s afternoon class. 

“What types of drinks or snacks does taehyun like?” 

Yeonjun made a pouty face, studying beomgyu closely. “Why do you want to know?” he asked obnoxiously. He always did like being a pain in the butt. Damn, beomgyu should have went to soobin instead. 

“Because i want to surprise him. I would have asked him myself but that sort of defeats the purpose,” beomgyu sighed. He fixed his hair, pushing some of his long bangs out of his eyes. "i figured I'd ask you since you are so smart and wonderful, and amazing-" he snickered, knowing yeonjun would eat up the attention like its candy.

Yeonjun, loving the praise and unable to help himself, also reached down to place a few strands of hair properly behind his ear before answering. He was always fussy over people he cares about. That now includes beomgyu and hueningkai.

Yeonjun smiled softly at beomgyu, nodding a bit. “Naturally im the best choice when it comes to help with love advice," he said shamelessly and full of pride (beomgyu almost snorted. almost) "Ok, first of all, he hates cola. If you are going to get him soda, then you’re safer with a sprite or something. Then-” 

Beomgyu nodded, listening carefully while trying not to look at the clock. 

~

“There you are!” someone whisper-yelled nearby. Taehyun didnt react though, he was used to people on campus always shouting and acting wild, even in a library. His head was in his textbook and he was silently memorizing this chapter. He needed to cram as much as possible into his brain before his exam in an hour. 

“Uh, taehyun, i think someone is calling out for you,” heeseung whispered next to him. They were sitting side by side at a quieter table in the library, studying together. Well, it was more of a silent companionship than studying together. They were both excellent students in their class and didnt need to learn from the other. 

Taehyun can appreciate heeseung. They were like two peas in a pod, practically the same person, in their own respective ways of course. They both thought similarly, were interested in the same things, studied the same way. Taehyun rarely had to explain himself while talking to heeseung. It was like they were on the same wavelength mentally. 

And another thing...both of them had the same preference of keeping people at a distance. And through that, they kind of congregated together in a weird sort of companionship throughout the classes they shared. 

It was easier this way, less drama. 

Taehyun wouldn’t say they were close friends, not like how he is with yeonjun and soobin. But heeseung was more than a random classmate he met up with. Labels were stupid anyways. 

Taehyun finally looked up from his textbook when a plastic bag banged down onto the table in front of him. 

“Geez this place is huge. I had absolutely no idea where i was going, and i thought i would never find you,” a familiar voice said to him. 

Choi beomgyu stood in front of him, smiling down and brushing his windswept bangs back into place. 

“Of course the last time i stepped a foot in here was literally my first day of uni, and then i yeeted right back out. Its like a freaking maze, and there are just so many...books, you get me?” he continued to ramble. 

Taehyun was growing irritated and a little bit angry. One, because he had an exam in less than an hour and he doesnt have time for beomgyu’s endless chattering. Two, because he has a headache from said exam. And three, believe it or not, despite his excellent grades and obvious intelligence, he hates studying and he hates learning about things that dont interest him. And science does _not_ interest him. 

So. He looked up at beomgyu and glared at him. 

“Beomgyu hyung, go away. Im busy,” he said a little coldly. Or… a lot coldly actually.

Beomgyu snapped his mouth shut and tilted his head to the side while he studied taehyun for a minute. 

This only seemed to piss taehyun off even more. Would he just...stop _staring?!_

“I can see that,” beomgyu smiled warmly at him. He didnt take offense to taehyun’s cranky mood. Either that, or he was pretending not to take offense. Then he bent down and crouched on the ground so that he could lean his arms on the table and look at taehyun closely. “That’s why im here, silly. Also you weren’t answering any of your texts.”

“What?” taehyun asked. “You’re being annoying. Even more annoying than usual. I put my phone on silent and I have a huge exam soon and i need to study-”

“When was the last time you ate?” beomgyu interrupted taehyun’s quiet rampage. “Did you have lunch yet?” He rested his head on his arms and blinked at taehyun while waiting patiently for an answer. 

“I...didnt eat lunch, ive been here since morning-” taehyun answered, but again beomgyu interrupted him. 

“I figured that might be the case! That’s why im here! I guessed you might be hungry, so i brought you some snacks and drinks. Its not good to take an exam on an empty stomach. You also might get a headache or start to feel dizzy, and i wouldnt want that to happen to my little taehyunnie,” beomgyu pouted cutely. 

Well, he was right about the headache.

And now that beomgyu mentioned it, his stomach started to gurgle inside him at the feeling of being empty. 

Beomgyu chuckled quietly and then reached over to start digging through the plastic bag of goodies. He brought the items out one by one. 

“Now i cant take all of the credit here. Yeonjun hyung told me what you mostly like to eat for snacks. Here, i got some lime soda, flavored water, chocolates, mixed fruit but dont worry they have cherries in it, and some plain crackers. That’s all the convenience store had but i figured it would do. I would have gotten you something a little heavier to eat, but i know you arent a big eater like me, and you especially dont want to feel too full during the test. That will only make you sluggish and sleepy,” beomgyu grinned. 

Taehyun just blinked at the snacks and drinks in front of him, not knowing what to say. 

“Oh! Hi! My name is choi beomgyu, i probably should have introduced myself first,” he turned to heeseung with a bright smile. “But of course my eyes immediately found taehyun and everything else was a blur. Its a common occurrence when a beautiful boy like him exists, so i hope you understand,” beomgyu laughed. 

Heeseung nodded his head awkwardly. “Lee Heeseung. And its uh...okay.” 

Taehyun was mortified. “Hey hyung?” 

“Yes my wonderful flower that-” 

“Shut up,” he hissed. 

Beomgyu snorted, grinning like an idiot. He was totally messing with him. Taehyun hates being teased. 

“Ok well, ill let you get to it. Oh! And dont worry heeseung, there is plenty to go around if taehyun feels like sharing. Though, by the way he was acting grouchy earlier, there might not be that much in the end,” he hummed happily. 

“Im not _that_ grouchy,” taehyun mumbled.

“Bye bye,” beomgyu said, getting to his feet and turning to walk around. Taehyun watched as he left, energetic as ever. 

“That was...weird,” heeseung said, laughing a bit to himself. “I didnt know you knew Choi Beomgyu.” 

Taehyun reluctantly turned to face heeseung, only when he couldnt see beomgyu’s retreating figure any longer. “You know beomgyu hyung?” 

Heeseung nodded his head. “Well yeah. He used to be in my year. We took math together last year but then he just… stopped coming to class. I assumed he was one of those students that dropped out of university to slack off and stuff. I guess not?” he wondered. 

“Oh...he mentioned something about that,” was all taehyun said. 

“I didnt know you guys were close,” heeseung commented. 

“We’re...not,” taehyun replied, looking away and over at the snacks. “He just...likes to tag along with me sometimes.” 

That’s a lie. It was more complicated than that. 

Why did he lie?

“Ok,” was all heeseung said, going back to his studying. He didnt bother touching the items beomgyu brought for taehyun. 

Taehyun reached out and gripped the soda, then he glanced at his phone lying next to him. 

He saw the notifications pop up earlier. He purposely ignored them. Now he kind of feels bad for being so rude. For not even bothering to at least check to see if it was something important. 

Putting the soda down for a second, he opened up his messages. 

_‘Hiii beautiful! Where are you right now?’  
'_ _Never fear, im on my way with snacks and drinks!’  
_ _‘Aww they didnt have your favorite chips, but that’s ok, i found some crackers instead!’  
_ _‘On my wayyy!’_

The corners of taehyun’s mouth lifted slightly, and he immediately texted back. 

_‘Thanks’_

Was all it said. The first time he replied back to beomgyu despite the hundreds of texts he’s gotten since he exchanged numbers with him. 

And yeah, he kind of chuckled a bit when an onslaught of heart emojis came back in reply seconds later. 

~

It went like this for the next few weeks, and then even more than a month later. Every morning taehyun would wake up to a million good morning messages on his phone. Every lunchtime beomgyu would come sit smack next to him, hueningkai in tow. Every time taehyun takes the bus home, beomgyu was right there next to him, dozing off, sometimes he even leaned his head onto his shoulder. 

Still, taehyun kept his distance. 

He didnt ever text back, always leaving beomgyu on ‘read’.   
He didnt acknowledge beomgyu at lunch unless spoken to.  
At first he tried to shove beomgyu gently off of him on the bus, but soon gave up when beomgyu kept tipping over onto him as the bus turned corners on the streets, so he gave up. 

He was never overly rude to beomgyu though. He always answered beomgyu’s questions and talked to him when addressed. He let beomgyu hover around him, eating up his personal space. He learned quickly that beomgyu liked to fuss with things, his hands always needing to move with pent up energy. Whether it be taehyun’s hair, his hoodie sleeve, his bag zipper. It could be anything, and taehyun was nice enough to leave it be. 

Beomgyu seemed to always be around so taehyun didnt think much of it. It became just another part of his routine. 

“So, did your boyfriend visit you again today?” soobin asked one night when taehyun came into the kitchen to get some water. 

Taehyun glared at him and soobin gave him a cheeky grin. “He’s not my boyfriend. I already made it clear to him that i dont like him like that.” 

Soobin puckered out his lips with a pout. “Why not give him a chance? He’s so cute and we love hanging out with him and ningning.” 

“Hyung, just drop it,” taehyun said a little harshly. 

He was getting annoyed, actually. It was always beomgyu this, beomgyu that. Constant stares, constant questions. His day was unpredictable and always changing from what he originally had planned. His phone was always blowing up with messages and emojis and memes. Ok, some of them were funny but still. 

“Alright, alright,” soobin held up his hand to appease him. “How is he doing by the way? What’s he been up to?” 

Taehyun paused, the bottle of water he took from the fridge halfway to his mouth. “What’s he...been..up to?” he repeated back like he was super confused. 

Soobin leaned an elbow on the countertop, an amusing glint in his eyes. “Yeah, it’s a simple question. Did you not understand?” 

Taehyun stood very still, almost like a prey trying to be unseen from the predator. Yeonjun might be bold, and outspoken, and a trickster. But it was soobin you have to be truly careful of. He was kind, compassionate, calm. 

And most of all, he was an evil mastermind. 

Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Soobin wasn’t some kind of grand schemer...well not most of the time. No, instead soobin was someone who asked you all of the right questions. 

They were just simple questions, really. But they were questions that forced you to realize things about yourself that you didnt even know you needed to realize. 

And to taehyun, that was a powerful yet horrifying ability.

Like right now, he asked a very generic and simple question. So why does taehyun feel like he did something wrong? 

“I dont... know,” taehyun answered truthfully, the words leaving his mouth and making him realize something he hasn’t even considered before. 

How _is_ beomgyu doing?   
What does he do in his spare time? 

“You guys are always seeing each other throughout the day though,” soobin asked innocently, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. 

Taehyun’s brain finally kickstarted back into gear. He took a swig of his water to give him time to think. “We arent _always_ together. I only see him during lunch, occasionally when he comes to visit inbetween classes, and sometimes on the ride home in the afternoons when i take the bus.”

“Ah, ok then. Ill have to see if yeonjun invited him and hyuka over for dinner yet. I wonder what we should make?” soobin wondered, dropping the subject and moving on to other things. Then yeonjun texted him, letting him know he was on his way home from dance, and taehyun took that moment to slip away again to his own room. 

Soobin didnt have to say it directly. The implication was as clear as day.

Despite being with beomgyu the majority of each day for over a month now, despite always listening to him constantly chatter and talk about the randomest of things, he still knows absolutely nothing about him. 

Just what kind of person does that make taehyun?

~

Taehyun sighed, looking up at the darkened sky. 

It was sunny and blue early this morning when he left his house, but by lunchtime it quickly turned gray and muggy. 

And now it was raining. 

He stood under the main entrance of the science building, watching the drops beat against the concrete rapidly. It was pouring really bad out and one second out there will surely drench him to the bone. But he needs to make it to his weekly cardio session. They were supposed to be kickboxing today. 

“Hmm, it looks pretty bad out,” heeseung said next to him. They just finished up their last class for the day. 

“Yeah,” taehyun agreed. He watched as heeseung opened up his dark navy umbrella, ready to go. Usually taehyun is as prepared as heeseung, but today he didnt even think about keeping an umbrella on hand, or even a jacket. He should have known better though. It was the rainy season after all. 

“Want me to wait here with you until the rain slows down?” heeseung asked, looking over at taehyun. His face was as neutral as ever, nothing revealing his thoughts inside his head. It was another similarity the two of them had. 

Taehyun shook his head. “No its ok. I might just make a run for it. Get some pre-warm up exercise,” he chuckled.

Heeseung gave him direct eye contact, they both were thinking the same thing. No matter how fast taehyun ran, he would still become super soaked. 

But heeseung wasnt pushy or fussy. He nodded his head in understanding and stepped out from under the entrance. He acted exactly like how taehyun would if the positions were swapped, he didnt make an issue of the matter. “Suit yourself then. I hope you have a change of clothes when you get to the gym, at least.” 

He doesnt. Only one clean set for after his workout and shower. He either puts on the clean set to workout in, or he works out in wet clothes. But he didnt tell heeseung that. 

“See you tomorrow,” taehyun said instead, and then heeseung nodded his goodbye and left. 

Taehyun blew out a breath, kind of glad heeseung was gone. He hated when people saw him struggle with predicaments, even if it was something as silly as this.

So, with his mind made up, he took one step out from under the safety of the huge entrance, but then paused as he heard someone call for him from the side. 

“Tae-hyunn-ieeee,” came a too loud and cheery voice. Taehyun closed his eyes briefly to help him muster up the patience to deal with beomgyu’s energetic self right this instant.

Of course. Of course he would show up right when taehyun was about to leave. His timing was impeccable. Also he gained the attention of all the other students walking by.

“Oh good, you didnt leave yet!” beomgyu laughed, jogging up to taehyun with a huge smile. The ends of his hair were a little wet, probably from running even though he was under an umbrella of his own. 

Taehyun just stood there, watching as beomgyu stepped under the entrance with him and placed his umbrella upside down onto the ground by their feet. Taehyun glanced at it briefly, noting it had cute teddy bears on it. Where did he even find something like that? Isnt he embarrassed using something so...out of place?

“I came to drop these off,” beomgyu rambled, swinging his backpack around to the front of his body so he could unzip it. Then he pulled out a small bag, handing it over to taehyun with a shy smile. 

Taehyun reached out to accept the bag, confusion on his face. “What is this?” he asked. 

“Uh, well, just a few things i thought you might need. Like uhm, an extra towel, a drink, and a few of those cold and hot patches for sore muscles. I figured you could use them after your work outs, or whenever…” he trailed off. He was obviously embarrassed by his overly thoughtful gesture of kindness. “You’ve been walking a bit stiff this week, so i was at the store earlier and saw them and just...picked them up. You’re going to the gym today, right?” 

Taehyun remained silent, staring at the small bag of items. This was unexpected. 

“Yeah...thanks,” he said in reply. “I should get going now.” What else was he supposed to say?

“Wait not yet!” beomgyu laughed, grabbing taehyun’s arm to pull him back before he stepped out into the rain. “One more thing!” and then he reached into his still open bag, and pulled out a mini umbrella, the kind that folds up easily. He unfolded it and extended it to its full length, the crazy patterns vibrant and colorful and a little obnoxious, if taehyun was being truthful. 

“Here,” beomgyu handed it to him, urging taehyun to take it. “I always carry an extra around in my bag, and i figured you might need it. Its a little small though, but great in emergencies like this one,” he smiled. “Just give it back to me whenever.”

“Oh.” taehyun gripped it, and feeling a bit pressured under beomgyu’s excited puppy dog stare, he opened it up and stepped out into the rain with it. It just barely covered him, but it did the job of blocking out the majority of the rain. Beomgyu seemed to be pleased and he shooed taehyun away. 

“Now go! Before you are late for your session!” he yelled to him, making hand gestures. 

Taehyun nodded and then turned, heading in the direction of the athletic center. 

Beomgyu waved goodbye, watching as taehyun left. 

It was about fifteen minutes later when taehyun noticed something strange. Something that didnt settle well in his stomach. 

He was walking close to the athletic center, the front entrance steps approaching, when some jocks ran by, almost bumping into him and splashing water onto his feet as they jumped through a nearby puddle. He glared at them in annoyance but didnt say anything. There were students like this all the time on campus, fraternity boys who like to trample on anyone in the way of their childish games. Skater boys, kids on bicycles, sorority girls driving recklessly in their cars and mowing people down in the streets. You name it. 

The jocks ran ahead of him, skipping up the steps, probably about to work out for whatever sport they are training for. They were joking around, pushing each other, and acting like idiots. But that wasnt what made taehyun stop and notice them so closely. 

No, it was the umbrella in their hands, two of them fighting over it so that they werent the ones getting wet. A third was snickering at their pettiness with each other. 

The umbrella was cute, a dark green color with little teddy bears all over it. An umbrella that was...a bit out of place from all of the others. 

He stopped on the first step, just silently watching as the boys went into the building. The rain continued to beat down on his smaller umbrella, and somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that he needed to hurry up. His session was going to start soon, and he really shouldnt miss. 

_“How is he doing by the way?”_

Soobin’s question from the other day rang through his ears, drowning out the steady beating rhythm of the rain against the top of his borrowed colorful umbrella. 

Students entered and exited the building, all walking around taehyun who continued to stand there, in the middle of the rain, zoning out. 

Then he blinked, and his wet sneakers turned abruptly away from the steps of the athletic building. 

It was silly, a stupid thought. 

Surely there is more than one kind of that type of umbrella, right? 

There’s no way…

Taehyun huffed as he speed-walked back to the science building he was in before parting ways with him almost 30 minutes ago. 

He finally approached the building, ready to laugh a little to himself at being so dumb and paranoid, when-

There he was.

Sitting on the cold ground under the main entrance, his legs scrunched up to his chest. He held his hand out, his palm upwards as he let raindrops collect there onto his skin. The ends of his dark hair were still slightly curled from the dampness of the rain, framing his face so beautifully. 

Beomgyu sat there as he watched the rain fall from the gray and gloomy clouds, his umbrella no longer by his side. There was a smile on his lips.

But this time...this time the smile seemed so…

Lonely. 

Taehyun continued to watch him, for once seeing something he’s never noticed before. Maybe it’s always been there, but taehyun was just too selfish, too self-absorbed, too blind to see it. 

  
_“How is he doing by the way?”_

It was just a simple question that somehow managed to run taehyun down like a freight train going at the speed of light. 


	4. I Want To Be A Punk.

_‘Good morning to the most beautiful, pretty, wonderful, smart, funny, cute, adorable bestest boy in the entire world!’  
_ _‘I’ll see you in music later today, right?!’  
_ _‘Oh! Dont tell yeonjun hyung, but i had hyuka steal some of his secret stash of cookies and im going to share them with you.’  
_ _‘Honestly, he needs to get a better hiding place. Its not secret if the rest of us know where it is!’  
_ _‘Hyunnn!’  
_ _‘Hey guess what?’  
_ _‘I like you!’_

Taehyun snorted at the screen. He was in his 9am class when his phone started blowing up. He supposes beomgyu just woke up, probably up late and sleeping in like usual. He clicked the message app down and focused on the lecture.

~

“Ok, for the next assignment, its going to be group work-”

The entire class groaned, some of them high fived. Mixed reactions were everywhere. Taehyun continued typing away at his laptop while the professor talked. 

“Enough of that. This assignment will be worth a good chunk of your semester grade and im letting you all pick which partner you want to work with. You have to create a musical piece together. But i want you to mix two completely different genres of music. Be creative,” the professor explained. 

Taehyun stopped in his typing, feeling like he was being watched. He flicked his eyes up from the screen and was met with puppy dog ones from across the room. 

Taehyun sighed.

Beomgyu put both his hands together and bit his bottom lip in what he thought was an adorable pout. He silently pleaded to taehyun with full force. 

Taehyun was getting very good at reading the older boy. Obviously beomgyu wants to be partners with him for the music assignment.

“Now you can spend the rest of the period finding a partner and discussing ideas on what you are going to do,” the professor dismissed them. 

Beomgyu shot to his feet not even a moment after the professor was done speaking, his eyes locked onto taehyun. Taehyun closed his laptop, hiding a smile to himself and waiting for beomgyu to cross the large room so that they could go over what they wanted to do for the project. 

“Hey taehyun?” someone who was not beomgyu called to him. Taehyun looked up, surprised to see someone else in this class talking to him. The boy had blonde hair with purple tips, sort of eccentric and edgy. 

What was his name again? 

“Yes?” he answered back to the boy, glancing over his shoulder to see how far beomgyu was. 

“My name is Jay. I was wondering if you could be my partner for the assignment?” he asked him. His voice was a bit gruff and his face seemed somewhat intimidating. But he looked nice enough. 

“Ah, sorry. I already have a partner,” taehyun smiled in apology to jay. 

“Oh, that’s ok!” jay said, looking a bit disappointed. Taehyun felt a little bad, but beomgyu beat this other student to him. Taehyun watched Jay walk away, and then his attention was back onto the person plopping themself down in the vacant seat in front of him. 

Beomgyu had a really bright smile on his lips, and he giggled, hiding his face in his hands. 

“What are you so giddy about?” he asked beomgyu. 

“Nothing,” beomgyu insisted. “Im just really happy.” he peeked out of his hands with a slight flush on his cheeks. 

This boy was just so weird. Taehyun chose to ignore it, opting to start talking about their assignment. 

“What two genres should we mix together?” he asked beomgyu. Taehyun was at a loss on where to even begin with this project. This is something that interests him, but he was still a beginner. 

Beomgyu leaned on his desk, his head on top of his arms. “Hmm, anything you want. I'll make it work somehow,” he told him confidently. And damn, taehyun has to admit that was pretty cool.

“You can do that?” taehyun wondered, a little skeptical.

Beomgyu nodded his head up and down cutely. “Yep, yep. But first we have to decide what kind of vibe we want to go with. Do we want people to cry? Do we want them to get aggressive? Its all about the ‘feeling’ we want them to experience! Once we figure that out, then it will be easy to find two genres to blend.”

Taehyun sat there silently, blinking at him with a neutral facial expression. But his emotions right at that moment were anything but neutral. He was amazed how confident and experienced and excited beomgyu was about music. 

Well, he knew that beomgyu liked to write songs and play instruments. But he didnt realize just how... _passionate_ and serious his hyung was. 

Believe it or not, taehyun _loves_ music. 

Yes, he was known for being smart and athletic. He excelled at everything involving science and math. He’s been told by the handful of students who confessed to him that he is your typical kdrama looking boy. You know, the ones that wear the sweater vests over a freshly ironed dress shirt. The type that sits in a chair and reads a book, looking all regal and mysterious. His parents want him to do something with finance, or possibly engineering, or maybe even medical. Those professions certainly fit the image everyone describes of him. 

But taehyun doesn’t want to do that. Taehyun _hates_ studying. He hates books, and he hates writing notes. He hates listening to lectures that dont interest him. He wants to wear random clothes that he’s in the mood for that day, like shorts, or shirts with holes in them. He wants to dye his hair all kinds of colors. Nothing super crazy, just...a random color every now and then. Like bright red, or the blue color that soobin has on right now. Even pink! He wants to wear earrings, and he wants to learn how to kickbox, or martial arts. He likes watching videos on how to perform magic tricks, and he likes playing card games. 

And most of all, taehyun wants to sing music. He wants to learn how to compose and produce, and he really wishes he could create something beautiful that other people would want to listen to. 

Taehyun is not a studious student, and it saddens him when that’s all people see about him. This is partly why he easily moved in with soobin and yeonjun when they offered. It was better than living in a dorm on campus, cheaper too, and he got to be away from the constant nagging of his parents. 

Beomgyu stared up at him expectantly, just waiting patiently with kind eyes. He didnt question why taehyun was silent all of a sudden or why he was deep in thought. 

Taehyun stared back at him, and then...he gave out a suggestion. 

“Funk,” was all he said. 

“Hmm?” beomgyu hummed, asking for taehyun to elaborate. 

“I want a song with funk, or groove, or just...something that gets you moving. Something that will make you jump out of your seat and start dancing. You know…” taehyun trailed off, his voice getting a bit quieter. He was...actually shy admitting this.

Beomgyu’s lips twitched up into an excited smile the more taehyun talked. 

“Yeah? That actually might work. Keep the ideas coming!” beomgyu said, whipping out his laptop and starting to type super fast on it. He was writing down everything taehyun was rambling about, not missing a single word. 

Wait, beomgyu actually liked his ideas? 

“These are just stupid suggestions though. Wouldnt it be easier to just, i dont know, compose a pretty ballad instead?” taehyun started to argue back. He didnt want to pressure beomgyu into doing a song he didnt like or feel motivated to do. After all, this is a group assignment. Taehyun has had bad experiences in group assignments.

“Easier? Yes. But who said we have to do it the easy way? We’ve got plenty of time to finish this. When i get home, i can bring up my programs on my other computer and start playing around with some beats,” beomgyu said, all serious business now. 

“Wait, uh, ok,” taehyun agreed, things moving along way more smoothly than he thought. But then he frowned. “Actually,” he paused, and beomgyu flicked his gaze up to him, his typing still continuing even though he wasnt looking at the screen anymore. 

“Can you...teach me how to make music? Just the basics! On the side! Not for the project,” taehyun quickly added at the end of it. He doesnt want to seem like a bother. “Ive always wanted to...try making my own songs,” he looked down. Why was he so embarrassed admitting stuff like that? Because it didnt fit his image? Because its a chance for other people to criticize you or judge you? You have to be pretty open-hearted to comfortably make and share things with the world. In case anyone hasnt noticed, taehyun isnt the most out-going or expressive person.

He expected beomgyu to shout out his opinion, or answer loudly, like he always does. But he was surprised when he heard the most compassionate response.

“I would love to,” was all beomgyu said, his voice soft and whole-heartedly serious, no joking or teasing, or anything playful in his tone. He didnt laugh at taehyun, he didnt ask why taehyun was suddenly interested. He didnt say anything at all. 

Just...that he would love to help him. 

Taehyun didnt know what to say. He looked up at beomgyu and there was only complete acceptance on his face. The last time he met someone like this, he ended up moving in with them. (yes it was soobin and yeonjun)

“Ok then!” beomgyu was back to being loud and his usual self. “Next we gotta come up with a message! Something we want to let everybody know about.” He leaned over his laptop and looked taehyun dead in the eyes. “So taehyun. What do you want to tell everyone?” 

Taehyun decided not to think about it. He was tired of always thinking and choosing his words carefully. So this time, he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind:

“I want to be a punk.”

Beomgyu blinked, and then blinked again. And then he snorted. 

“Dont need to tell me twice! I love it!” 

~

“Goal!” 

Beomgyu kicked the ball into the net, a huge cheer erupting all around. He fist bumped his fellow teammates, getting back into position to start the next game. 

“Dammit, i almost had it that time,” niki said from the goalie box. He rubbed sweat off his face and glared at beomgyu. Taehyun just rolled his eyes, fanning his shirt a bit from the heat. 

“We will get them next time,” he tried to placate him. It was just a silly soccer game anyways. 

“Whatever,” niki muttered. He looked fierce while he bent down on his knees and watched the game closely as the goalkeeper. Taehyun was one of his defenders and hung back to get ready for the ball if it ever came to their side of the field again. By the looks of beomgyu and his teammates, he guesses the ball will be back over to them very shortly.

His hunch was correct when beomgyu once more got past taehyun and all of his teammates, passing the ball to a guy named sunghoon who then kicked and scored. Niki was seething when it got past him again. 

The game was over, and beomgyu’s team one. Taehyun was surprised by how athletic beomgyu seemed to be. Based on the way he’s always sleeping or laying around, or doing things in the laziest way possible, he would have never guessed. However, he should have known. After all, beomgyu is in yeonjun’s dance classes. Yes, as in, yeonjun was the _assistant dance instructor_ for the campus. Not just anybody can get into his classes, but beomgyu was in them. Then there is the fact that beomgyu easily keeps up with taehyun’s fast moving pace, walking side by side with him like he isnt even winded. 

Wow, taehyun is an idiot. 

“That damn guy,” niki swore. Taehyun was looking at the younger boy with a little confusion. What’s he so mad about? “He just thinks he’s so great, doesnt he?” 

What? 

Normally taehyun doesnt involve himself in gossip or people talking about others. But this time he couldnt help himself. “What do you mean?” taehyun asked him. 

“He’s in my dance class and always gets the best results and is always complimented by our instructors,” niki seethed. 

“Ok, so?” taehyun replied. 

“Its not fair!” niki turned his harsh gaze over to taehyun. “Ive been dancing since i was three years old! My parents own a dance studio and i know various styles. He’s only been dancing for a few years at most and all of a sudden everyone thinks he’s the best!” 

This seemed sort of stupid. “Well, is he the best?” 

“No! He was an amateur when he first joined us. But he progressed pretty quickly and so that gained him all of the attention,” niki explained. 

“Does beomgyu hyung think he’s the best?” taehyun wondered.

“I dont know, probably,” niki muttered, a little unsure of himself. 

Taehyun left it at that, not knowing what else to say. It was just a typical case of jealousy if he was to put a label on this. 

It wasnt until about 40 minutes later, freshly showered and on his way to his economics class that he saw niki again. He was with a friend, and they were both laughing. Niki was swinging around a pair of shoes and shouldering a small knapsack bag. 

“Relax, ill go back in about an hour after my class. Have a little fun, sunoo,” niki said, walking over to a different building that was next to taehyun’s. 

Taehyun watched him swing the shoes around a few more times before disappearing around a corner.

Those werent niki’s shoes. 

Dont ask taehyun how he knows this. He always seems to notice the weirdest things. The littlest details that are unimportant to other people. Niki had on red shoes earlier. It matched the red jerseys they all had to wear for their team. Those shoes were just plain black and white. 

Like beomgyu’s. 

Taehyun glanced at his phone, noting that his class will start in 10 minutes. He would be late if he turned back now. 

Still...what if…

Taehyun opened up the door to the boy’s locker room, glancing inside. It was quiet, all of the players and other jocks long gone by now. He was being stupid. Maybe niki had an extra pair of shoes or something? 

There’s no way niki was _that_ immature and jealous of beomgyu to-

Taehyun turned a corner, approaching the lockers near the showers. He paused, the strap of his bag sliding off his shoulder slightly. 

“Seriously?” he said out loud unintentionally. 

Beomgyu looked up in surprise from his spot on the wooden bench. He appeared like he just got out of the shower, his dark hair wet and dripping onto his bare shoulders and the tiled floor. He was completely naked still except for his large towel wrapped around his waist and covering most of his legs. 

“Taehyun?” he asked, glancing over at the clock. “Dont you have a class right now?”

“And shouldn’t you be dressed?” taehyun countered, slightly irritated. Who gives a shit about class?! Why is beomgyu always worrying about him instead of himself? It was growing to be bothersome. 

“Ah, yeah, about that,” beomgyu smiled sheepishly. “It would appear i misplaced my clothes,” he said casually. 

“Misplaced? Or were they stolen?” taehyun asked, crossing his arms over his chest like he was reprimanding beomgyu. 

“Well…” beomgyu chuckled. “I guess it was my fault for just leaving them out on the bench here while i showered. At least i brought my towel with me.”

Taehyun sighed. “You cant let niki get away with this, even if it was a childish prank.”

“I figured he had a problem with me,” beomgyu said quietly. “It was only a matter of time before he did something with all of that pent up anger.” 

“Why didnt you text me you needed help? Were you just going to sit here and wait for clothes to magically pop out of nowhere?” taehyun gritted his teeth. Why was he so irritated at beomgyu not reaching out to him when he needed it?

“I didnt want to be a bother to you. Besides, you’re supposed to be in class. Economics, right?” beomgyu laughed. “I would have figured something out eventually.”

“Hyung, i think i can afford to miss a few minutes of my class if you needed clothes. Its better than sitting here half naked where anyone else can stumble upon you.'' Why was beomgyu such an idiot?

“I guess…” beomgyu said, watching as taehyun approached him, then taking off his bag and pulling out his extra set of gym clothes. They were supposed to be for later today, but taehyun can just skip today’s workout and go tomorrow morning instead. 

Taehyun stopped in his tracks, impossibly close to beomgyu who was still sitting on the bench. He looked down at beomgyu, the older boy’s gaze clear and sharp and intense. Beomgyu blinked, his eyes half hidden behind his damp bangs. Taehyun watched with a blank face as water droplets rolled down beomgyu’s shoulders and across his bare collarbones, going down farther. He forced his eyes back up to beomgyu’s, unsure of where the sudden urge to touch him was coming from. 

“Here,” taehyun said, his voice a little hoarse. He handed beomgyu his clean shirt, boxers, and shorts from his bag. “You should hurry up and get dressed.” 

Beomgyu smiled, seemingly oblivious to taehyun’s inner turmoil. “Thanks taehyunnie,” he said, reaching out and grabbing the clothes. He unfolded taehyun’s shirt first and pulled it over his head, shaking some of his hair out of the way. 

Taehyun was still impossibly close. He should move back a few steps, give beomgyu some more room to stand up and change. But he was rooted to the floor, and his hands were itching to trace beomgyu’s skin. 

Instead he opted to play it safer. He reached forward...and he brushed his fingertips through beomgyu’s dark strands. 

“Your hair is messy,” he muttered. 

It was true. Beomgyu’s hair was all over the place, and he kept very still as taehyun fixed it for him. Taehyun used his fingers like a comb to try and get the knots out as best he could. 

Beomgyu hummed in response. “Feels good,” he said shamelessly, which caused taehyun to finally pull back. 

“Ill let you get dressed,” he said, scooping up his bag, tossing beomgyu his extra set of shoes and stepping out of the locker room so that beomgyu could change. 

He waited outside, even though he really didnt have to. And the entire time he focused on ignoring that growing urge to pull beomgyu against him and feel more of him. 

It was safe to assume that taehyun didnt make it to his class that day. 

~ 

Taehyun pretended not to be bothered by beomgyu dozing off on his shoulder later that week. It seemed like every bump and corner the bus took brought beomgyu closer to him. And the need to feel his touch was increasing to a questionable degree. 

What the hell was wrong with him? This feeling was annoying and something taehyun didnt particularly like or enjoy. 

He nudged beomgyu a little harsher than he intended. 

“Hyung, we’re here,” taehyun said, waking the other boy up. 

They both exited the bus and taehyun led the way into the direction of both their houses. Just like they always do now. 

“Ah taehyun, you go on ahead today,” beomgyu said, smiling to him as he stayed in his spot.

Taehyun paused and turned around, a frown on his face. “What? Why?” 

“I have somewhere i need to go real quick. Ill see you tomorrow!” beomgyu waved to him before turning and heading in the opposite direction. 

‘O..kay…” was all taehyun could say, watching until beomgyu was a decent distance away.

Huh.

Why did the walk home alone annoy him for some reason?

~

Taehyun furrowed his brows in confusion when he noticed beomgyu didnt show up for music class the next day. Beomgyu told him that he would show him a few things about producing music, so what the heck? Why was he skipping? He even still got a good morning text message from beomgyu!

He sighed, bringing out his laptop to just go ahead and work on what he could in beomgyu’s absence. 

Taehyun arrived at lunch with the others, and noticed beomgyu was nowhere in sight. 

“Hey,” he said abruptly, cutting off soobin from talking about something stupid yeonjun did the other day. “Where’s beomgyu?” 

“Im not sure,” yeonjun replied, scooping a huge bite of food into his mouth. 

“Why did you want to know~” soobin teased him, his eyes and nose scrunching up like a cute bunny rabbit. Taehyun glared at him and kicked him under the table. 

Only he missed, kicking yeonjun instead. 

“Ow!” yeonjun said around his food. 

“Sorry,” taehyun apologized with no emotion, and yeonjun kicked him back. 

“Oh, beomie hyung? Hes going to be missing classes for a few days,” hyuka said, unwrapping a granola bar he had in his lunch. He said it so nonchalant, not even noticing all eyes of the table on him. 

“Why?” taehyun asked, beating soobin to it. 

“He got a call this morning. Apparently his mom isnt doing so well suddenly, so he decided to skip until he’s sure she’s stable again,” hyuka answered, taking a bite of his food casually. 

“Hyuka, love, you cant just drop a bombshell like that on us without explaining,” yeonjun tried to say calmly. 

Hueningkai finally looked up at everyone, shocked by their intense gazes. 

“Oh! Oh my god, i realize now what that might have sounded like to you all. Beomgyu hyung didnt say anything to you guys?” he wondered. 

“It would appear he hasnt, ningning,” soobin told him gently. 

Taehyun was growing impatient. 

Hueningkai nodded. “Its not a big secret, its just beomgyu doesnt like to talk about it so openly. If you asked him directly, he will tell you.”

If you asked him directly…

Taehyun never asked him personal questions, and yet beomgyu has _his_ whole backstory as well as soobin and yeonjun’s.

Shit. 

“Beomgyu’s mom is terminally ill. She has been for a few years now, and is progressively getting worse. Every time she doesnt look too good, beomgyu will take a couple days off to spend time with her and care for her. She’s always nagging at him about missing school, but he doesnt listen to her. Because you know..” 

The entire table went silent, and suddenly things were starting to click together. 

“Oh dear,” yeonjun said sadly. 

“Thankfully, our high school didnt consider attendance to be super important, and beomgyu just managed to pass and graduate despite being one of the smartest kids in our grade. We were in the same class together when i transferred into his school in my second year,” hyuka continued to explain. “We werent really close friends or anything, but I always wondered why he was doing so badly all of a sudden. So i asked him! Then beomgyu explained, and we even went to go see his mom in the hospital. After that we became really best friends! I would always give beomie hyung copies of my notes so he could study while his mom was sleeping.” 

“That was very nice of you hyuka,” soobin said while ruffling kai’s hair, his eyes warm and affectionate. 

Hyuka giggled. “I wish i could help more though. But beomgyu hyung said it was all right. His mom is super nice too, i love visiting and telling her about our day.” 

“We would love to meet her someday,” yeonjun told him, fixing his hair from soobin’s earlier gesture. 

Taehyun remained silent, unable to say something. _Anything._ **  
**


	5. No, I Don't Like Him.

There was a light knock on the door, causing Beomgyu to look up from his seat next to the hospital bed. 

What he saw shocked him. 

“Taehyun?” 

Taehyun shuffled slowly and quietly into the room, noting that the woman in the bed was currently sleeping. He didnt want to accidentally wake her up. 

“I uh, brought you some of that horrid coffee you like,” he whispered. His face gave nothing away, but his stomach was currently in knots. He flicked some of his blonde bangs out of his eyes and tried to meet beomgyu’s wide gaze. 

Beomgyu reached out, a soft snort coming from his nose. “Iced americano is a necessity,” he insisted while taking a large swig. “Oh that hit the spot,” he sighed in content, taking another large gulp. He’s been up for the majority of yesterday and well into the night. 

Taehyun shuffled awkwardly on his feet, unsure of what to do now. He’s never been in a situation like this one before. He didnt want to accidentally seem rude or uncaring. 

Luckily, beomgyu saved him the trouble. It was almost as if he could sense these things about taehyun.

“So how did you know to come here?” he asked him. He didnt seem mad or annoyed that taehyun practically barged into his personal life, which was a good sign. 

“Hyuka told us what happened after you skipped classes and didnt show up to campus,” taehyun mumbled. “So i..asked him where your mom was staying, and well, figured you might want something to drink..or whatever,” taehyun glanced away. 

Beomgyu smiled, cheerful despite it being barely 7am in the morning. “Im always down for some coffee, you know me too well,” he lightly laughed. 

“You didnt text this morning, so i thought you might have been sleeping,” taehyun noted. 

Beomgyu blinked in shock, and then a devilish grin creeped up on his lips. “Oh? Whats this? Was my taehyunnie upset because i didnt text him good morning?” he teased.

Taehyun forced his cheeks to not flush and his heart not to skip a beat. “No, i dont care about that,” he lied. “it's just not like you to miss a day,” he insisted. But of course beomgyu wasnt buying it. 

Instead of giving beogmyu another chance to make fun of him and poke and prod into his brain, he quickly diffused the situation. “I also brought a box of green tea for your mom. Hyuka told me she likes all kinds of tea,” he said as he reached into his bag and pulled out a box of loose tea leaves. “She can brew some when she wakes up.”

Beomgyu looked at the box in taehyun’s hands, and then up at taehyun, and the facial expression that morphed onto his face warmed taehyun’s entire chest. He looked so...taehyun couldnt even describe it into words. Grateful? Appreciative? Those didnt seem right. All he knew is that he wants to see beomgyu look at him like that forever. 

“She will love it,” beomgyu whispered, emotion getting stuck in his throat. Besides hyuka, nobody else has bothered to think of him or his family. 

“Im glad,” taehyun whispered back. “Also, soobin and yeonjun hyung wanted to come too, but they have extra shifts at work today. Plus i think its best i give you a warning in advance. Those two are like mothering hens and will probably coddle you and your mother with gifts and other items. Its a lot to handle,” taehyun chuckled. He was speaking from experience. Just the other day yeonjun came into the living room while taehyun was studying up on how to compose music on his own (you have to learn the basics before you can dive in!) carrying a blanket and some chocolates, and then he proceeded to smooth back taehyun’s hair off his forehead with affection (taehyun secretly but not so secretly likes his hair touched) and gave him a kiss on the top of his head before leaving without a word. It was just in soobin and yeonjun’s nature to take care of the people they love the most. Taehyun has never felt so happy before being with them. 

Now that unconditional love has spread onto beomgyu and hueningkai (hyuka eats it up). 

“She would love to see them,” beomgyu smiled, clear joy in his eyes. 

It was silent for a few seconds, and taehyun couldnt help but glance at the sleeping figure in the bed. The sounds of the monitors made a gentle beep that disrupted the quiet of the room. 

“Is she doing okay?” taehyun asked, hoping that wasnt too sensitive of a topic to bring up. But just as hyuka promised, beomgyu had no problems answering if you asked him directly. 

“To be honest with you? Not really,” beomgyu said quietly, his eyes flicking to his mother. There was pain present in his gaze, and taehyun admired his strength. 

“Im sorry,” taehyun whispered, the words barely audible. 

“Dont be. We both have come to terms with this long ago,” beomgyu gave him a watery smile. 

Taehyun nodded, and just stood there in the room. 

“Sorry about missing classes this week,” beomgyu said suddenly. There was a look of regret on his face. 

“You dont have to apologize, hyung. They arent important right now,” taehyun assured him, meaning every word of it. “I’ve been self studying on how to compose music and keeping myself busy.” 

“I promise to teach you. And i also want to hear your opinion on a song im making on the side. Its for my mom,” he smiled affectionately over at her. “She loves it when i play the guitar for her. I wish my singing was better though,” he chuckled. 

“I…” taehyun’s words got stuck in his throat. “I would love to,” he repeated what beomgyu told him earlier that week. Beomgyu slightly flushed at his easy acceptance, taking another sip from his cup. 

The mood in the room was pretty serene and calm, the sun starting to peek through the curtains. Taehyun walked over and quietly sat next to beomgyu in the other chair, and they just enjoyed a comfortable silence for a little while longer until taehyun had to leave for his morning class, the occasional clinking of beomgyu’s ice cubes from his coffee making a rattling sound every now and then as he finished up the drink. 

Taehyun felt...at peace. 

Spending time with beomgyu was nice. 

~

“Hey…” taehyun spoke up one afternoon. They were at beomgyu’s apartment, working on their project as well as beomgyu teaching taehyun some pointers in musical composition. 

It has been silent for a while, beomgyu so absorbed into his composing and taehyun working on other homework at the moment. But then a thought occurred to taehyun and he had to speak it out loud. 

“Hmm?” beomgyu answered him, paying attention while still clacking away at his keyboard. This has been the only time taehyun has seen him willingly be so quiet for such a long time, it was kind of a shock at first. But taehyun has been going to beomgyu’s apartment almost every single day for a few weeks now, and he’s grown used to it. 

Taehyun sometimes has these urges to just blurt out his random and deep thoughts. However, he only does it when he feels comfortable enough around someone. So far, beomgyu was quickly getting added to that list. 

“Do you think its weird if i suddenly want to start learning how to cook?” he asked, bracing himself for judgement or criticism. He always has his guard up, and doesnt take lightly to people thinking he was weird. Its part of the reason why he distances himself from his fellow classmates.

“No, not at all. What kinds of things were you wanting to learn how to make?” beomgyu replied without much thought, dragging up another program and mixing some melodies together. He was currently working on the song he made for his mother. Taehyun has been a big help and source of inspiration for him to finish it. Now he just needs to polish it up. 

Taehyun deflated in relief at beomgyu’s easy acceptance for his random thoughts on life. “Just, you know, easy stuff at first. I feel bad yeonjun does all the cooking at home. I should learn too so that i could help out more.”

Beomgyu finished his last segment, and then saved his work onto his main computer and his USB flash drive. You never know when he will get inspired and need to plug it into the nearest computer to record it before the thought flees him. 

Spinning around, he had a thoughtful look in his eyes. “The only thing im good at is grilling meat. And maybe making simple dishes like ramyeon or whatever. So i dont think i would be much help,” he chuckled. 

“I wish i could at least make some kimchi stew,” taehyun pouted. 

“Well then why dont we?” beomgyu asked, excitement in his eyes. 

Taehyun blinked at him, putting down his pencil he had in his hand. “Like, right now?” he asked incredulously. 

Beomgyu clapped giddily. “Yeah! Why not? Its not like we have anything _super_ important to finish tonight! Plus im hungry!” 

Taehyun smiled. “Do you even have the ingredients for it? Your fridge is practically empty.” 

Beomgyu pouted, getting to his feet. “Then lets go shopping! Go, go, go!” he gripped taehyun’s hand and dragged him up from his spot on beomgyu’s floor. 

“You’re actually going to help me make it? It might turn out horrible, ive never done it myself before,” taehyun pointed out. 

Beomgyu laughed as they walked to the front door and started putting on their shoes. “So what? We will still eat it anyways! Or better yet, if it turns out disgusting we can just give it to soobin or yeonjun or hyuka, and say its delicious while we wait for them to take that first bite,” he grinned, a mischievous glint to his eyes. 

“That sounds like a perfect plan,” taehyun smiled wide. “And we can pour salt into their cola!” 

They ran out of the door, giggling the whole way to the store like a bunch of creeps. 

~

“I like you!” 

Taehyun cringed, sighing at the girl looking up at him with hopeful eyes. 

Yeah, its been a while since this has happened. He actually almost completely forgot how much he’s hated these words.

Here we go again.

He repeated the same speech he’s had memorized, no feeling in his voice whatsoever. This time around, the girl wasnt very pleasant with his blunt rejection, kicking up a fuss. 

“It’s because of that boy that is always latching himself to you, isnt it?” she hissed out, her true colors showing. It would seem she was only nice and sweet when she was trying to get something she wanted. 

“No, i just dont like you back. Like i said, i barely know you, why would i return your feelings?” taehyun told her calmly. Why would she even bring beomgyu into this? They were just friends.

She scoffed. “Yeah right. I just dont think its fair. You let him hang all over you even though he likes you, so why cant i?” 

Taehyun furrowed his brows in confusion. “I dont let him hang all over me-”

“Uh yeah, you do. Dont you think its pretty shallow of you to lead him on like that? You are just as much of a hypocrite as you claim me to be,” she told him, her words lashing out at him like a viper. 

He blinked in shock for a second, unsure of what to say. His mind was becoming a huge muddle of thoughts. Rather than waiting, the girl whipped around in a huff and walked out of the classroom. 

Taehyun heard a crash outside the door, and he snapped to attention. He walked over just in time to see the girl bitch out beomgyu for getting in her way. 

“What happened?” taehyun asked, studying beomgyu closely. 

“I...spilled coffee on myself,” beomgyu said, smiling sadly. “Im going to go clean up.” then he turned around and went down the hall to the nearest restroom. 

As he left, taehyun bent down to pick up the empty cup. ‘Iced caramel macchiato’ was written on the side of it. He gripped the cup, suddenly feeling really bad. 

The girl was right. He was leading beomgyu on, and it wasnt fair to either of them. Beomgyu claims they are just friends, and for the most part its true. Taehyun has found himself to be close to the older boy over the months they have gotten to know each other. 

But beomgyu will always want more from him. He will always have those lingering feelings that taehyun couldnt return. He doesnt deserve that. 

“Everything ok?” a familiar voice said, and taehyun whipped his gaze to the side to see heeseung coming up to him. 

“I- yes, no, not really?” taehyun admitted. He was too frazzled to really carefully form his thoughts around the proper words to say. 

“I couldnt help but see what happened. Why did that girl shove beomgyu-ssi?” heeseung asked.

Taehyun pursed his lips, just staring at the spilled coffee on the ground by his feet. “She was angry that i rejected her confession.”

“Another one?” heeseung chuckled. Taehyun nodded. 

“She thinks im leading beomgyu hyung on. And i guess she saw him and well, yeah…” taehyun trailed off, his fists clenching at his sides. 

“Are you?” heeseung wondered with curiosity. 

Taehyun snapped his head up, his eyes wide in horror. “No! I dont think so? I didnt mean to??” 

Heeseung tilted his head, watching taehyun fumble like a little kid over his words. 

“I mean,” taehyun continued. “Everyone thinks Beomgyu just...follows me around like a lovesick puppy. Not once did i give him any indication that i...like him back,” taehyun said, his words heavy and tasting like acid on his tongue. 

“Well do you like him back then? Cause if you dont, i might have a solution,” heeseung volunteered. 

“No i dont like him. Not like that,” taehyun said a bit weakly. 

He doesnt, right? What does it even mean to 'like' someone? 

“Then why dont you date me instead?” heeseung offered. 

Taehyun almost choked on his spit. 

“What?” 

“Platonically, of course. That way people will think you are off limits, and maybe that will also get beomgyu to stop following you around like a lovesick puppy,” heeseung pushed further. 

Taehyun thought about it for a second. It was a pretty logical offer. Both he and heeseung are so alike, so similar in their way of thinking and acting. Getting along with him was actually easier than with anyone else. In fact, people will have no problems believing that they are really dating. 

“Yeah ok. I accept your offer. Let’s date. Hopefully beomgyu hyung won’t be too upset and eventually move on from me,” taehyun said, finally making up his mind. 

“Dont worry, i wont be,” he heard a clear and quiet voice from behind him. Taehyun stilled, slowly turning around with wide eyes. His heart started beating right out of his chest, noticing beomgyu stand there, his shirt slightly wet from the coffee he must have washed off. 

Beomgyu’s face was void of emotion, studying taehyun with heeseung. 

“Beomgyu i-” taehyun began, but he paused. He didnt know what to say. This wasnt supposed to be how his day would go. Things werent supposed to get so complicated so quickly. This is why taehyun tries to avoid drama as much as possible. 

“I apologize,” beomgyu said, his words making taehyun flinch with how...unaffectionate they were. “I didnt realize that you both like each other and were wanting to date. If i somehow stood between the two of you, then i take full blame,” beomgyu rambled on. 

What? He must have only heard the last thing taehyun said. He must have missed the ‘platonic’ part of this idea. He must think that taehyun and heeseung truly like each other and that taehyun just accepted heeseung’s confession or something. 

“No, you are completely fine,” heeseung tried to smooth over the tension that was skyrocketing in the hallway. 

“I wouldnt want people to get the wrong idea about us,” beomgyu said to taehyun, letting out a cold chuckle. It wasnt the usual laugh that taehyun was used to. “I promise I’ll keep my distance for a while.” 

And then just like that, beomgyu turned around and walked away. 

Taehyun started to panic, taking a small step after him. Heeseung furrowed his brows at the state of distress taehyun seemed to be. 

“Taehyun? Is everything alright?” 

No. “Yes,” he swallowed. 

This was for the best, right? Everything will be fine, right? 

It was only for a small amount of time. Taehyun will date heeseung and get people to back off, and beomgyu wont be subjected to an endless torture of people misunderstanding their relationship, as well as finally moving on from taehyun. 

So then why is taehyun the one feeling like he’s being crushed under a heavy weight? 

Why does his chest increasingly ache with every step beomgyu took farther away from him? 

Why does he feel like he just made a very terrible mistake?


	6. When Alone Started To Feel Lonely

Beomgyu spun around in the computer room desk chair, his arms folded across his chest. He glared at taehyun, waiting for the other boy to speak first.

Taehyun shuffled awkwardly at the doorway to the room. He's surprised beomgyu isn’t getting up and leaving, given the way things ended the other day. 

Taehyun could still feel the regret coursing down his spine at how he handled the situation he was placed in. 

"We...need to turn in our music project tomorrow," taehyun said quietly, looking at anywhere else but beomgyu.

"I know. I’m almost done editing it and then ill send you the completed track. You can take a listen and decide to turn it in for us if you like it enough. Now, why are you really here taehyun?" Beomgyu asked him coolly. His tone wasn't harsh, just...not quite as friendly as he usually is. Taehyun supposes that’s the best he’s gonna get. 

Taehyun licked his dry lips, his palms sweaty with anxiety for some reason. 

"I wanted to talk to you. To explain myself," taehyun muttered, finally meeting beomgyu's intense stare. His heart quickened at that look, and he was unable to understand why. 

"Okay," beomgyu agreed easily. That certainly surprised taehyun. He was sure he was going to have to at least beg for a few minutes of beomgyu’s time so that he could listen to what he has to say.

Beomgyu sighed. "Don't look so shocked taehyun. I'm not an unreasonable person. I'll listen to what you have to say, and then go from there." 

Taehyun nodded slowly. Then he cleared his throat. "Right, uhm..." He was all of a sudden at a loss for words. How is he supposed to explain his feelings at the moment if even he himself has no idea what it means?

Beomgyu waited patiently, and taehyun has come to appreciate that about him. Despite beomgyu's constantly energetic and overexcited and childish personality, he always seemed to be the wiser one of the two when it truly mattered. 

"I'm...not dating heeseung because I like him." It was better to start off with the truth. "In fact, we aren't even really dating at all. It's platonic, a façade to get people to back off. I'm tired of endless students confessing to me their feelings and I needed an out." 

"That's sort of dumb, but I can understand your reasoning. I still don't know why you feel the need to explain this to me," beomgyu said a bit coldly. 

Taehyun winced and trudged forward. "The last girl...she started blaming my rejection to her on you. People have taken notice how much you and I are together, and I didn't want their hostility to jump over onto you instead. Plus..." Taehyun gulped, the air suddenly stuffy and hot in this room, grateful no other students were in there at the moment. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. "Plus, I figured this way might help you...move on from me. It's not fair to you.." taehyun trailed off, unsure of what else to say. It was the truth though. 

Beomgyu was silent for several seconds, no doubt processing taehyun's words. Taehyun at least hoped it wouldn't be too much of a shock to him-

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," beomgyu sighed sadly. 

"W-what?" 

Beomgyu stood up from his seat so that he and taehyun were at eye level now. "I'm going to be honest with you, taehyun. While I understand where you are coming from, I think you took the coward’s way out." 

"Coward?" Taehyun repeated like a parrot.

"I'm sorry about the other students harassing you all the time with their confessions. In fact, I was even one of those people, too. But let's get one thing clear." Beomgyu glared at him with a sturdy look. "You don't get to decide for me how I should feel. You don't get to make the decision on whether I should or shouldn't move on from the boy I like. You are just insulting both of our intelligences." 

Taehyun remained silent, letting beomgyu finish.

"I'm sorry if my feelings for you were a burden all this time. If you wanted me to back off, you should have just talked to me like a normal human being, not devise this stupid kdrama plan of being in a pretend relationship to 'get me to move on'," he said that last part in air quotes, mocking it. 

Beomgyu's harsh glare then softened, and suddenly his facial features took on a sad look. Taehyun hated seeing that look, it was so much worse than if beomgyu was mad at him and hated his guts.

"If you wanted some distance, or you wanted me to go away, then all you had to do was say so. I hear you loud and clear now, taehyun. I will respect your wishes and back off." 

That...wasn't his wish. 

Taehyun clenched his fists tighter, feeling his nails dig into his palms. "So...are you just going to avoid me now? Is that it?" 

Why was he getting so worked up over the thought of beomgyu avoiding him? He has no right to feel bad, not after the mess he's caused. 

Beomgyu scoffed, giving him an 'are you serious?' look. "I'm not some dumb emotional teenager, taehyun. Don't be ridiculous. We will just go back to being classmates. Our relationship will be like how it is with everybody else you know on campus. That should give you the space you need, right?" 

Taehyun found himself reluctantly nodding in agreement. It seemed pretty easy, beomgyu was being fair and mature and reasonable. 

It was only until much later, as taehyun was walking back to his place at the end of the day, that a horrifying thought occurred to him. 

_ "Our relationship will be like how it is with everybody else you know on campus." _

His stomach felt twisted into knots at that prospect. That slight panic started to creep it's way back into his chest as the true meaning of beomgyu's words echoed and rattled throughout his brain...

Because taehyun never interacts with the rest of the students on campus. He's always been distant with other people. 

Essentially, beomgyu was kindly and gently removing himself out of taehyun's life, leaving just as fast as he had come.

And for some reason, that made him feel absolutely and positively...broken in a way he couldn't identify. 

~

The next two weeks went as follows:

Taehyun got up at his normal time. He found himself automatically reaching for his phone, squinting at the bright phone screen while he opened his messenger app out of habit. 

But instead of waking up to a million good morning text messages, his chat was silent and empty. 

He just stared at it for a few moments, and then quietly clicked off his phone.

The first day of lunch was...awkward and a bit of a shock. 

"Where's hyuka and beomgyu?" Soobin asked, stealing some of yeonjun's kimchi. It was ok though. Yeonjun only shared food with soobin, biting off the hands of anyone else who dared touch his meal. 

"Hyuka said they won't be joining us for lunch today," yeonjun answered, munching around a few veggies. 

Taehyun remained absolutely silent, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

However, ‘today’ seemed to stretch to tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, until it was obvious that beomgyu wasn't going to eat at taehyun's lunch table any more. And of course, hyuka being the loyal best friend that he is, decided to sit with beomgyu at a table across the dining hall in moral support. 

Taehyun heard yeonjun and soobin talking in the living room a week later how hyuka apologized for ignoring them at lunch, but he didn't want beomgyu to be all by himself.

Great, so now soobin and yeonjun know something is up. Still, they didn't push taehyun to talk or explain what happened. They will wait patiently until taehyun is ready to confide in them. 

Lunch seemed to be the least favorite part of his day now. 

Taehyun remained pretty much alone in between his classes. He doesn't usually talk to his classmates or anyone else for that matter. 

He didn't get funny text messages or memes or emojis blowing up his phone during the lectures, and he certainly didnt have cute cups of fruit and strawberries to munch on while the teacher droned for forever. 

And worst of all, nobody waited for him after class, and so he spent his days walking aby himself.

Everything seemed to go back to just the way it always was. Taehyun was back to his normal routines he valued so much.

~

Taehyun’s ‘relationship’ with heeseung for the next two weeks went as follows:

His weekly study sessions with heeseung remained the same. They have another huge exam coming up and they were both at the library silently going over the material. 

“Here,” heeseung said, coming back from the vending machines out in the hallway. They were taking a small break, and taehyun just sat there in a daze while heeseung said he would be right back. 

Then Taehyun glanced down at the cola heeseung brought him. And he just felt...sad.

He didnt want to be rude, so he accepted it with a tight smile. Heeseung didnt seem to notice. 

Taehyun hates cola. He prefers sprite or another soda. But that would be very ungrateful and childish of him to point it out. Heeseung was being considerate, getting him something to drink with his own money. 

Still, a little voice in the back of his head reminded him that heeseung was present when beomgyu clearly stated that he got him a sprite since he found out taehyun hated cola. 

Taehyun wasnt mad that heeseung forgot, or maybe wasnt paying attention that day. He was just...disappointed. And it was the stupidest thing to be disappointed about. 

Another afternoon with heeseung had taehyun blurting out a random question that was on his mind.

“Hey heeseung?” he asked, and he received a reluctant look from his textbook as a reply. Still, taehyun continued to ask his question. 

“Do you think its weird to get a snake as a first pet?” taehyun has always wanted a pet snake. He thinks they are way cooler than the average cat or dog. Not that there's anything wrong with those pets and all...

Heeseung gave him a funny look, but then answered, “I mean, kind of? That's not the usual house pet most people turn to for their first animal.” Then he went back to his textbook, continuing his homework. 

Taehyun frowned. That was a normal answer, and heeseung wasnt being judgmental. But still… it was a bit upsetting to taehyun.

Taehyun sighed, looking out the window to the library. 

It looked like it was going to rain today.

And taehyun didnt bring an umbrella. 

“Go on ahead,” taehyun told heeseung quietly. They were both standing underneath the main entrance to the library. It was raining gently, a fine mist that was wet enough to soak whoever walked under it for an extended period of time. 

Heeseung opened up his umbrella, giving taehyun a look of confusion. “Are you sure? I can walk you to your stop. Where are you going?”

Taehyun continued to watch the rain fall down on the sidewalk and grass. He didnt bother telling heeseung (again) that he was headed to the same place he usually goes almost every single day of the week: the gym. He has another cardio session today. 

“Yeah im sure,” taehyun told him. “I want to stay here for a few more minutes.”

He didnt bother explaining further. He didnt  _ want _ to explain. No matter how hard he tried, he doubts heeseung would understand his urge to stand under the rain. 

Heeseung didnt bother questioning it, shrugging and preparing to head out. “See you tomorrow,” he told taehyun, and then he was gone. 

Taehyun didnt even return the farewell. Instead, he held his hand out, palm facing upwards, collecting the rain and watching it fall through his fingertips. 

~

The bus rides were… not very pleasant, to say the least. 

The first day he got onto the bus, he sat by the window out of habit. It didnt even occur to him that a cute boy wont be sitting next to him anymore, gently dozing off and leaning his head onto his shoulder. 

So taehyun, in a moment of stupidity, forgot to put his bag onto the seat next to him. And naturally, a stranger squeezes themselves into it, bumping and jostling taehyun in the process. 

Taehyun gritted his teeth, ignoring the other person. 

And you know what was worse?

Beomgyu still took the bus, just as usual, but he moved to the back where he used to sit before becoming friends with taehyun. 

Yeah, the bus rides definitely sucked now. Taehyun didnt even realize until that moment just how much he liked taking the bus in the late afternoons, a familiar warm weight always on his arm.

Today was no different. He sat there, alone and staring out the window. 

Once he got off the bus, he prepared to walk the unbearably long trek back to his home, a ghostly quiet by his side. 

However, hope bloomed in his chest when he heard a familiar deep voice call out to him.

“Hey taehyun?” beomgyu said. 

Taehyun stopped in his tracks, turning to look at beomgyu. Its the first time he properly faced him since that day in the campus computer lab. 

“Yeah?” his voice was quieter than he would’ve liked. 

“Have you seen my flash drive? I cant find it and i thought i might have left it with you by accident or something,” beomgyu asked him.

Oh. That wasnt what taehyun was expecting, but at least it was something?

Taehyun shook his head. “No, i havent seen it. Sorry.” 

Beomgyu gave him a weak smile. “That’s ok. Thanks anyways.” and then he turned back around and headed in the opposite direction. Probably the hospital again. 

Beomgyu doesnt walk home with taehyun anymore.

And then taehyun was left there on the sidewalk all by himself once more, the quiet stillness unbearable.

Taehyun was used to being alone. In fact, that’s how he has always preferred it. 

So then when has being alone started to feel so...lonely? 


	7. He Was Crying.

Something gradually changed inside of taehyun after beomgyu started to give him ‘space’. 

Taehyun has noticed it, soobin and yeonjun noticed it, hell even heeseung was starting to notice. Taehyun has started to withdraw from everybody, more than usual. 

He just wasn't...happy. 

And that’s what confused him to no end. He didnt even realize how happy he was until suddenly he wasnt anymore. He doesnt take joy from anything he likes doing, and that was concerning. 

So finally, he snapped out of his daze and went to one of the only people he trusts the most whenever he’s confused about something. 

“Soobin hyung, are you happy?” taehyun asked, sitting at their small kitchen table and waiting for soobin to finish making the ramyeon. It was a late night snack. 

Soobin turned around, leaning against the counter, studying taehyun closely. 

“I would say so, yes,” he said softly. 

Taehyun leaned on his arms, looking at soobin with wide curious eyes. “What does it mean to be happy though? I just don't get it.”

Soobin hummed while deciding how to explain. “I think the better question first would be ‘are you unhappy’?” 

“I'm not particularly sad, or depressed, or anything like that if that's what you mean,” taehyun confirmed. “I just feel kind of...empty, in a way.” 

Soobin nodded. “Happiness is different for each person. But for me, I'm happy because of the little things. I get to eat good food with my family here in this house, school is rough and exhausting but i feel fulfilled whenever another year passes by and im closer to reaching my goal, im surrounded by the people i care about the most, and i get to wake up each day next to the person i love. For me, that’s all i need. For me, that’s what happiness is.” 

Taehyun frowned, really letting those words seriously sink in deep. 

“Are you happy, taehyun?” soobin asked gently. He turned back around to finish up the ramyeon while he waited for taehyun’s answer. 

Finally, it came several seconds later as he filled up two bowls to take back to the table.

“Im not unhappy, but i dont think im happy either. I like music, and i like singing, and i like you and yeonjun hyung, i like staying here with you guys, and i like…” he didnt finish his sentence.

He didnt know how to.

~

“All right, this will be the final assignment for the semester, so pay attention,” taehyun’s music diversity professor started to say. “This will be an individual project unlike last time. I want you all to make a track of something that has meaning to you. Put a lot of emotion into it. It could be anything, i dont care,” he smiled a gummy smile. 

Professor Min was always laid back when it came to music. Its part of the reason why everyone fights to get into his classes each semester. He claims there is never a ‘right way or wrong way’ when it comes to expressing yourself. Taehyun takes that to heart. He likes having the freedom to do whatever he wants. 

“Also, your scores for the group projects are now up. Most of the class did really well, i truly enjoyed them!” Professor min never fails to get excited when he talks about new music. “Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu, your track was the highest score in the class, congratulations!” 

Taehyun paused in gathering his things, looking at the professor with a bit of shock. He didnt expect that. 

“Do you guys have a name for the track? You only gave it a file number when you turned it in.”

Taehyun was the one who submitted the file after beomgyu sent it to him. He listened to it just like beomgyu asked, and he absolutely loved it. It was everything taehyun wanted in the song. He wanted groove, and funk, and something a bit rebellious. Something that captured what he was feeling. Taehyun wasnt good at expressing what he really wants and likes, but somehow beomgyu managed to convey his emotions for him in his place. 

A name wasnt required, and even if it was, taehyun didnt think he could come up with something good enough. It just didnt feel right to go ahead and title the track without beomgyu there, so he left it as the file number. 

He glanced at beomgyu quickly, meeting his eyes across the room. His heart sped up and his stomach filled with flutters, but he ignored it for the time being. 

Even now, beomgyu seems to just... _get_ him with only a look. 

Beomgyu can decide on the title. Taehyun would be okay with anything. So with taehyun’s silent permission, beomgyu turned back to professor min and answered with a cheeky smile. 

“We are going to call it ‘New Rules’. Anyone who listens to it would be filled with the urge to get up and be a punk, metaphorically speaking of course,” beomgyu replied smoothly, a bit of laughter in his voice. 

“I like it,” professor min told him, writing it down on a piece of paper. 

Taehyun does too.

~

A week went by, and taehyun was starting to feel restless. It was an impatient feeling slowly bubbling to the surface. He needed to _do_ something, but he didnt know what. 

“Hey heeseung?” he called out, noting that the other boy seemed a bit...not irritated but maybe bothered? by the way taehyun constantly asks random questions throughout the day. Not many people have the patience with someone like that. 

Heeseung paused in his homework, placing his pen down with a steady and calm hand. The gesture seemed like he was mustering his patience to deal with whatever was going to spout out of taehyun’s mouth this time. 

“What is it?” he replied. 

“Why did you  _ really  _ suggest we be together?” taehyun asked, leaning his head on his arm on top of the table. He didnt feel like studying anymore. He was just filled with so much energy and his mind was wandering too much to focus. 

Heeseung froze, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “What do you mean?” he questioned softly. But taehyun got the feeling he knew what he meant. 

“Ive been wondering about this for a while,” taehyun said, his voice slightly muffled by his mouth on the sleeve of his arm. He looked up at heeseung through his blonde bangs. “Dont take this the wrong way, but we arent particularly close. We rarely hang out unless its to study for our shared classes. In fact, if we didnt have classes together, i doubt i would see much of you at all. But then you just popped up out of nowhere and offered to help get the others off my back. Why?” 

Heeseung was starting to look a bit uncomfortable. Taehyun cant say he blames him, Heeseung was never the receiver of his blunt way of speaking. Heeseung has never been subjected to taehyun’s cold straightforwardness. Taehyun has always been polite and tolerant of the older boy, their conversations bordering on indifferent and friendly. 

“Do i need a reason?” heeseung mumbled quietly. 

“No, but i doubt you don't have one,” taehyun shrugged his shoulder. “Its not plausible for anyone to do anything without some kind of reason or motivation.” That was just a fact.

Heeseung looked down at his textbook, as if hiding his eyes will keep taehyun from reading the truth in them. Taehyun waited patiently until he was ready to speak.

Finally, heeseung took a deep breath, and he looked back at taehyun directly in the eyes. Taehyun was still resting the side of his face on his arm, watching the change in attitude heeseung was showing. He looked a bit more determined now, a resolve washing over his face. 

“Im sorry in advance for what im about to do. You can pull away if you want,” heeseung muttered, starting to lean down towards the table and over to taehyun’s face. 

Taehyun was stunned, not even blinking. _Was heeseung going to do what he thinks he’s going to do?_

It would seem so, as heeseung’s gaze met taehyun’s, his face getting closer very slowly. Inch by inch, he made his way to taehyun. 

Taehyun kept very still. He didnt move, he didnt back away. 

He was going to let it happen. _He was going to let heeseung kiss him._

Not because he particularly wants it. In fact, there was no excitement whatsoever. His heart was calm and there were no thrills or tingles coursing through him when heeseung touched his cheek carefully with his fingertips. 

Heeseung paused, studying taehyun’s eyes to make sure he wasnt overstepping his boundaries too much. Then he flicked his gaze to taehyun’s lips. And taehyun let him close the distance.

It was a soft kiss, barely there. Taehyun could feel heeseung’s breath mix with his own, and he could feel the slight pressure on his own lips. Heeseung closed his eyes and pressed just a little bit more firmly, deepening the kiss slightly and...

_ Huh. _

It was okay, he guesses.

Not unpleasant but...

Heeseung finally pulled away, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

Taehyun wishes he could have been more responsive. However, his eyes never once closed, he didnt feel the urge to have more. His body didnt react at all, not even in flattery over heeseung wanting to kiss him so badly. 

Taehyun didnt move from his spot on the table. He still sat there, his head on his arm with his face staring up at heeseung. He instinctively licked his lips and just…

Nothing. 

He felt nothing.

“I...I know you hear this a lot,” heeseung started to say, his voice slightly quivery. Maybe in shyness, or embarrassment? Or maybe his heart was still beating erratically from kissing him? Taehyun wasnt sure. “But...i like you. I always have. At first i didnt realize it, but then beomgyu-ssi started hanging around you, and i got a little bit jealous. Nothing crazy, just...i wanted to do something about it. I was hoping you wouldnt notice, that we could spend time together and you would someday start to feel the same way for me.” 

Taehyun slowly started to sit up straight in his chair, looking at heeseung with...sadness. Not because heeseung, in a roundabout way, deceived him over his true intentions, but because he’s going to have to do what he’s always hated. 

“Heeseung…” taehyun started, his voice calm and quiet. 

“I know what you are going to say,” heeseung quickly cut in, his words coming out a little bit rushed. “You dont have to like me back, not right away. I was just hoping you would continue ‘seeing me’ and that one day...you could...give us a chance?” he ended the statement on a question.

Heeseung probably knew, that deep down, it was very unlikely going to happen. Still, taehyun can admire him for trying. He can appreciate the bravery it took to say all of this. He wont be unkind and crush on innocent feelings like that. 

“Im sorry heeseung, but i am going to be honest with you,” taehyun began, and heeseung’s shoulders deflated slightly as he knew where this was going. “I dont think i can ever return your feelings, not like that. I think its best that we end whatever is going on right here and now.”

To be honest, there wasnt much happening between them anyways. The only difference taehyun noticed was that he saw heeseung more often during the week. Aside from that, nothing else changed on his end. Maybe it changed for heeseung, but not for taehyun, and that was a cruel thing to admit to the other boy, so taehyun kept his mouth shut. 

Heeseung looked back down at his textbook. He hid his disappointment well. Taehyun supposes that’s another thing they have in common. 

After several awkward seconds of silence, taehyun figured it was now time to make his leave. He started to gather up his belongings. He wasnt running away, just giving heeseung space. Once everything was packed, he stood up from his chair, quietly scooting it back under the table. 

“I never really had a chance, did i?” heeseung asked, looking back up at taehyun before he could go. There was a thin smile on his lips, kind of like a smile of defeat. “Not ever since  _ he  _ came barreling into your life,” he whispered that last line. 

Taehyun grew tense, about to chastise heeseung for implying that it was beomgyu's fault-

“I'm not blaming him taehyun. I'm not petty like that. I don't mean it that way,” heeseung reassured him, no doubt able to guess what taehyun was thinking. 

“Then in what way do you mean?” taehyun asked cautiously. 

“You looked so happy whenever you were with him,” heeseung answered. 

Taehyun felt like he just got hit by a bus, and he took a little involuntary step back. 

“I...did?” taehyun whispered, mumbling the words together. 

“Yeah,” heeseung said, his eyes softening with fondness. “You did. You never noticed?” 

No. He never noticed. 

~

Another week went by, and taehyun’s restlessness still hasn't gone away. His fingers were itching to do... _ something.  _

He barely paid attention to what professor min was saying, even though this was his favorite class for the semester. He clicked his pen a few times in agitation, but otherwise kept quiet in the back of the classroom. 

“I started to grade your final projects. So far they are looking good! Well done everyone, you may all go now,” he said, dismissing the lecture. “Ah, but can Park Jay and Choi Beomgyu stay after class? I need to discuss something really quick.”

Taehyun froze halfway from standing up. He glanced at beomgyu, who looked equally confused, and then he glanced at Jay who had a neutral expression on his face. 

Taehyun usually wasn't nosy. He usually couldn't care less about the other students and their problems, but this time it was different. He very slowly gathered his stuff, watching from the back of the large lecture room as beomgyu and jay took their backpacks and made their way up to the front of the room where professor min was waiting. 

The room was now almost completely empty, a few stragglers hanging out and talking, not paying attention. Taehyun continued to stay in his spot, just barely able to hear what was being said if he focused hard enough.

“I couldnt help but notice that you both turned in the same track for your assignments. Like,  _ exactly _ the same,” professor min said quietly, his face grim. “Jay was the first to submit his track, days before you, beomgyu.” 

Wait, what?

“I want to point out that plagiarizing or copying another person’s work, in any way, shape or form, is never tolerated in my class or on campus. Beomgyu, im going to ask you this once and only once, did you copy Jay’s work?” 

Beomgyu looked so confused and wronged. “No, of course not. The track i submitted is my own,” he insisted. 

“Dont lie,” jay hissed, crossing his arms and giving a ‘dont mess with me’ stance. 

Professor min frowned. “I'm going to play a small snippet of each track that was submitted to me. I'm hoping it was just a computer glitch or something, and a big misunderstanding.” 

Beomgyu nodded eagerly, jay remained neutral, his face giving nothing away.

Professor min clicked on the tracks, bringing them up on his computer. “This first one is Jay’s,” he said, and then he pressed play, skipping to the middle of the song.

At the first notes to the song, Taehyun’s pulse began to thunder in his ears, slowly drowning out the sounds of the soft music continuing to play up at the front. 

“Ok, and this is what beomgyu submitted,” professor min said, pressing play on beomgyu’s track and going to the middle of the song. 

It was the same. Both were identical copies.

“Obviously that one is mine, i submitted first,” jay was quick to say. 

Beomgyu turned and glared at jay, and taehyun could get a clear image of beomgyu’s face. He looked like he was going to be sick, his face taking on an ashen color. 

“That is completely false. This song was mine, i worked on it for weeks before this assignment was even announced. It’s very personal to me. How dare you steal it and submit it as yours?!” his voice was getting high pitched with emotion, and clearly he wasn't handling this well. 

“You were the one who copied my song, don't try to play innocent,” jay defended himself stubbornly.

Taehyun’s fists clenched, and he stood up completely from his seat. He glared down the room at jay, but no one noticed. 

Professor min sighed, wiping his face in exhaustion and a bit of sadness. “Unless i can prove somehow which of you made the original track, im afraid im going to have to give one of you a failing grade. Since jay was the one who submitted first, im sorry beomgyu, but you wont be passing this class.”

“But i didnt cheat!” beomgyu insisted, his voice loud. The people who were still in the classroom stopped talking, now paying attention to the commotion at the front of the room. 

“If you admit to it right here and now, i might be able to appeal for you so that you can remain in your program,” professor min warned. 

Beomgyu’s eyes started to water. He was so upset that he was beginning to cry, a few tears clinging to his eyelashes as he tried really heard to blink them away. 

“I refuse to admit to something i didnt do,” he sniffled a bit. 

“Then im sorry,” professor min said sadly. “We will discuss this further at a later time.” 

Beomgyu nodded his head, a tear escaping despite his best efforts to hold them back. He turned on his heel and marched out of the door, not bothering to look back.

Taehyun’s stomach was swirling like a storm within him. His eyes didnt leave beomgyu’s retreating form not a single once until beomgyu was no longer visible. He just barely caught a glimpse of beomgyu wiping his eyes as he turned the corner, rushing out of the building. 

Then taehyun swung his gaze to Jay, who was still standing there, assuring the professor that it was his own work. Taehyun realized that his nails were digging almost painfully into the palms of his hands, that’s how hard they were clenched into fists. 

He looked down at them, releasing his fist and opening them up a few times. 

He was finding it hard to breathe, or think, or remain calm. His heart was beating right out of his chest, and it was breaking at the same time. 

He started to feel...so _angry._

If anyone was watching, they would have noticed taehyun’s face taking on a very calm and blank expression. He moved gently and quietly to the aisle with his things, and made his way down the stairs to the front of the room. 

He was in no hurry, he did not rush. 

Professor min was starting to gather up his papers and shut down his computer while still talking to Jay. He noticed taehyun approach them and looked up from behind his desk. “Ah taehyun, how can i help you-”

Taehyun didn't even hesitate. 

One second he was approaching Jay and Professor Min, and the next second his arm was swinging out and punching jay hard in the face.

Jay made a noise of pain, and fell backward onto the floor from the blow. He held the side of his jaw and chin, glaring up at taehyun in shock and anger. 

“What the hell, man?” was all that came out of his mouth, slightly garbled from the pain. 

Professor min took on a serious face, about to intervene, but taehyun beat him to it. 

He bent down, gripping jay’s shirt and dragging the kid up towards his face, cold fury in his eyes. “He made that song for his dying mother you fucking  _ asshole! _ He spent days working on it, and i was right there with him through it all. You are such a piece of shit for stealing it and then claiming he copied you! I'm going to beat the living fuck out of you-”

“Taehyun, that’s enough. I don't condone fighting at school,” professor min said calmly, watching the situation play out. 

Taehyun gripped jay’s shirt even tighter, squinting his eyes at him. “You stole his flash drive didnt you? He’s been looking for it, he thought he misplaced it, but you fucking took it and submitted the song literally hours after the assignment was given to us.” jay was quiet now, his jaw red from where taehyun punched him, no doubt a big black bruise was going to form. “Well guess what you thieving jackass? I have the proof beomgyu needs to clear his name. You didnt think of that did you? I have the original demos sent to me, in my email, from at least over a month ago, long before professor min announced the project, time stamped and all. I was the one helping him with that track, so what are you going to say about it  _ now?!”  _

Taehyun let him go, watching with satisfaction as jay fell backwards onto the floor with a thump.

Professor min stared down at jay, and then back at taehyun. “I see i need to look into this situation very carefully now. Taehyun, i understand why you are probably emotional right now, if everything you said was true, but you still punched a student right in front of me. I cant let that go, no matter what the situation is-”

“I know, “ taehyun said, looking at the professor, his eyes still wild but his face calm. “I accept the punishment for violence on school property. I dont care. As long as beomgyu gets cleared for the plagiarizing.”

“Very well, i will see you in my office next week to go over this,” the professor nodded, dismissing taehyun. 

Taehyun stepped over jay like he was a bug on the floor, and then he left. 

~

Soobin calmly slid over a plate of chocolate and lemon cookies he baked across the table to taehyun. Yeonjun was sitting up on the countertop, swinging his legs and munching on a few of the cookies he stole.

The room was quiet, and taehyun sat there feeling like a child getting reprimanded for doing something bad. 

Well, he actually did do something bad, but still.

“Now,” soobin said gently, folding his hands on the table, “would you mind explaining to us what happened? We were going to respect your wishes and leave you be with whatever happened between you and beomgyu, but yeonjun just found out that a student named Park Jay in his dance class got punched by a, and i quote, ‘goddamn psychopath Kang Taehyun’ so unless there is another kang taehyun who shares a class with jay, i think its safe to assume that was you.” 

Yeonjun chuckled in the background, and soobin sent a warning look over his shoulder to shut him up. 

“Yeah, i punched him. Wish i could've hit him hard enough to knock him out, though. I've been skipping out on my cardio sessions too often,” taehyun mumbled around a cookie he took. 

Soobin nodded. “Ok, and why did you punch jay? Just curious,” he said. 

Taehyun’s eyes started to burn all over again with that familiar cold fury he felt yesterday. 

“He stole the track that beomgyu made for his ill mom, submitted it and claimed beomgyu copied him. Beomgyu hyung was going to get a failing grade for the class and possibly get kicked out of his program. So i...just lost it,” taehyun ended his rant with a quiet admission. 

“I see,” soobin said, frowning with a furrow between his brows. “Yeonjun, sit back down, you cant go and beat up a student younger than you. Plus taehyun already did,” he said without even looking behind him. Yeonjun paused on his way down from the countertop. He was about to go and kick some ass, but was caught in the act. Soobin knew him too well. 

“But binnie, the asshole was picking on gyu,” yeonjun complained, pouting out his lips. 

“I know,” soobin said softly. He was just as furious now that he knows the truth. “But we have to let the school board handle this. All we can do now is support taehyun with whatever he needs.” 

“Fine,” yeonjun said easily, sitting back on the countertop.  _ Too _ easily. 

“You are not going to beat jay up in the back of an alley somewhere off campus either,” soobin chastised him, and yeonjun made a tsking sound.

Taehyun giggled at yeonjun’s obvious disappointment. 

“Are you guys mad at me?” taehyun finally asked, a little bit worried that he let soobin and yeonjun down. He looks up to them, even more than he looks up to his own parents. If he disappointed them, he would feel majorly ashamed. 

“No, we aren't mad,” soobin smiled. “In fact, we are proud of you. Obviously violence wasn't the answer-”

“No, its the solution,” yeonjun said in the background.

“But we understand why you did it. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us. In fact, I'm surprised you acted so rashly. Normally you are the more mature one of the three of us…” he trailed off, glancing at yeonjun stuffing two whole cookies into his mouth.

“Fuwhut?” he said around his food. 

Soobin sighed, a fond smile on his face. “Why did you snap like that?” he went back to taehyun. 

Taehyun boldly met soobin’s gaze, pursing his lips into a thin line.

“He was crying,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. 

“I hated seeing him cry.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone who is curious:  
> 'new rules' was the song that taehyun and beomgyu submitted together for the group project.  
> 'maze in the mirror' was beomgyu's track he made for his mom and also submitted for his final project  
> <3 stream mitm!


	8. Tell Me To Stop

“So you’re suspended from classes for two weeks?” soobin asked.

Taehyun sighed from the couch, laying face down on his stomach. He was so bored.

“Yeah, its more so that professor min can appeal to the board of education and let them know what happened. He’s going to try and put in a good word for me,” taehyun explained, his voice muffled from the couch cushion. 

“So now what?” soobin asked, worried that taehyun might not get to come back to school.

“Now i sit here and die of boredom. Maybe workout or something,” taehyun told him, causing soobin to chuckle. 

Just then, yeonjun walked in, finally back from his dance classes. He went straight for the fridge to take out a bottle of water. 

“Hey welcome back,” soobin said. Yeonjun waved in greeting as he started chugging. 

Taehyun rolled over onto his back and sighed heavily. 

“What’s up with him?” yeonjun asked soobin, walking towards the couch. 

“Oh he just found out that he’s on academic probation-” soobin began, but was cut off. 

“I think i like beomgyu. Like,  _ a lot,” _ taehyun blurted out randomly, making soobin whip his head around so fast he got a kink in his neck.

Yeonjun choked on some of the water, laughing and trying not to die. “Congratulations *cough* you are officially the last one to know *cough, cough*.” 

Soobin patted yeonjun’s back to help him out while at the same time looking down at taehyun. 

“What brought this on so suddenly?” he asked the younger boy. 

Taehyun looked up at him through his blonde fringe. He sighed again. “I dont think it was sudden. I think this has been boiling under the surface for a while now, until finally...everything kind of exploded. Now that i accepted and admitted it, i dont think i can ever go back.”

Yeonjun was still chuckling, but he settled down. “So the little shit finally got under your skin, huh?”

“Yeah, he did,” taehyun sighed once more. But soobin could see the corners of his lips twitch upwards.

~

To say that taehyun was nervous was an understatement. He was full of so much pent up energy and had no idea what to do with it. He shuffled back and forth on his feet as he waited for beomgyu to open the door. 

It will be the first time he is seeing beomgyu since the incident in the classroom. That was a few days ago and he wonders how beomgyu is doing. He wanted to text or call, but both of those options didnt seem right. He needs to see beomgyu face to face, make sure he’s fine. 

Finally, the lock on the apartment door clicked, and it was safe to say that taehyun’s nerves were completely shot. He held his breath as the door creaked open.

And there he is. Looking as beautiful as always. His dark hair was all fluffy and messy, he was wearing comfy looking plaid pajama pants, and a black oversized shirt and oh dear, taehyun cant handle this right now. 

Beomgyu rubbed his eyes, yawning and blinking up at taehyun with pretty lashes. 

“Taehyunnie?” he mumbled, his voice deep and hoarse from sleep. Obviously taehyun just woke him up. 

Taehyun momentarily blinked, trying to ignore the way his heart fluttered a bit at the nickname. 

“Did i wake you up? Im sorry,” taehyun said softly. He then chuckled. “But to be fair, its 7pm at night. Are you just now getting up?” 

“It was a nap,” beomgyu pouted, his lips and cheeks slightly puffy. And if taehyun looked closely, he could faintly see the remnants of blanket marks imprinted on the side of his face. 

“You call sleeping 6 hours a nap?” taehyun laughed. 

Beomgyu gasped. “How’d you know?!” confirming what taehyun just said. 

“Your last class today ended at 1pm,” taehyun rolled his eyes. Then he held up the bag he had been carrying. “I got us some fried chicken. I figured you probably didnt eat yet, you are always skipping out on your meals,” he sighed. 

Beomgyu smiled sheepishly. “I didnt eat since breakfast,” he admitted. Then he stepped aside for taehyun to come in. 

They ate on the floor at beomgyu’s small living room coffee table in relatively comfortable silence, neither one wanting to break it with all of the things they needed to address. But taehyun didnt mind. 

He hasnt realized it, but he’s been feeling like a huge heavy weight was on his shoulders ever since he and beomgyu parted ways a few weeks ago. But now he feels content again, at peace, like he can breathe easily since he was with beomgyu. 

They finished their meals, bagging up the leftovers for yeonjun and soobin to devour since neither one of them eats very much. Then beomgyu got up, offering a drink for taehyun, and he accepted. 

Beomgyu came back with two cups and a liter of soda. He cracked it open, and started to pour. And all taehyun could do was stare at the bottle’s label.

Lime soda. 

Even now, beomgyu still remembers that taehyun hates cola. And for some reason his throat got choked up with emotion. It was a stupid reason to feel like crying, but to taehyun it was always the little things that mattered the most. 

“You like lime soda that much?” taehyun laughed weakly, trying to hide the fact that his voice wavered just the tiniest bit with how touched he was feeling. 

“Hmm?” beomgyu hummed, capping the bottle again and sitting next to taehyun once more on the floor. “Ill drink anything. I have both cola and sprite in the fridge, but you hate cola so i brought the lime instead.” 

Beomgyu lifted up his cup and began to drink, and it was just a casual thing to say, but to taehyun it was more than that. 

“Ok, so not to be rude or anything, but why did you stop by? And with chicken?” beomgyu said, leaning his back against the couch and looking over at taehyun. 

Taehyun began to pick at his fingers, the nerves returning. “You hate seafood so i brought chicken,” he mumbled childishly, looking down at his hands. “and... Im sorry...for what happened,” he started to say. 

Beomgyu tilted his head, trying to see taehyun’s face a little more clear, but it was pointless since taehyun was still looking down at his fingers. “You mean what happened with Jay?” he tried to clarify. 

“Yeah he was an asshole for trying to put the blame all on you and get you kicked out,” taehyun breathed out. 

It was some of the truth on why he was sorry, but not all of it. 

“Professor min told me what happened after i left,” beomgyu said softly. “How long are you on academic probation for?” taehyun couldnt see the fondness in his eyes, or the way beomgyu’s fingers twitched to just grab his chin and make him look at him. 

“Two weeks. I'm dying of boredom,” taehyun snorted, feeling a little bit better now that he was finally talking to beomgyu properly again. 

“Ill bet. And you dont need to apologize, taehyun. You were the one who proved i didnt cheat, and im just gonna say you were totally awesome. Bad ass! Everyone is talking about it,” beomgyu laughed, shoving taehyun playfully in the shoulder. 

Taehyun’s lips twitched up into a smile. “I  _ was _ pretty cool, wasnt i?” 

“Nope, im not going to feed your ego anymore,” beomgyu tsked, taking another sip of his soda. 

“There’s something else,” taehyun said, looking up at beomgyu finally. “I was wondering...if its not too much trouble, could you teach me some more about making music? When you dont have class and homework of course! I just figured i might as well learn something while im banned from school,” he laughed weakly. 

These weren't the main reasons why taehyun came over. These were just excuses, half-truths. The real reason was because...

He missed him.

Beomgyu shrugged. “Sure i dont mind. Although you are such a nerd for wanting to be productive during this time. If it was me, i would be sleeping all day and night.” 

Taehyun rolled his eyes, grabbing for more soda. “You are impossibly lazy.”

“Yeah so?” beomgyu said, giving him his winning cheeky smile. 

Later that night, taehyun snapped his eyes open, sitting up abruptly. 

He glanced around, his head in a fog, until he remembered where he was. The lamp light was still on, beomgyu’s computer went to sleep in front of them, the bags of chicken and bottle and cups of soda all empty on the table. 

Oh yeah, he was hanging out with beomgyu and they both must have fallen asleep. Half of their bodies were under the coffee table, and the rest peeking out and splayed across the floor. Not very comfortable, actually. Taehyun had a kink in his neck from the awkward position. 

He went to reach for his phone on the table, but was met with resistance. He blinked in confusion and then turned to see behind him. Beomgyu was completely knocked out, curling into himself and facing taehyun’s back. His fingertips gripped slightly at taehyun's shirt.

Taehyun shifted again, this time carefully, away from beomgyu and grabbed his phone to check the time. It was way past midnight, and too late for him to go home. His phone also blew up with various text messages from yeonjun and soobin earlier, so he sent a quick one off explaining he was fine. He smiled at the immediate message he received. 

Soobin. He was always up at all hours of the night, either studying or gaming. 

Taehyun put his phone back on the table and sat up more, rubbing his face, then looking down at beomgyu’s sleeping form. He noticed beomgyu shiver and curl up more into himself now that taehyun’s warmth was gone. He shivered again.

Oh...he must be cold. Taehyun briefly remembered beomgyu saying something about hating the cold. He must have unconsciously curled closer to the nearest heat source he could find. And well, obviously that was taehyun. 

It was sort of...endearing. And to be fair, it was pretty cold here on the floor. 

Taehyun yawned, still very much tired. They were working for a few hours on music production and now his head was kind of pounding. Who knew making your own music could be this difficult? He’s got to respect beomgyu a little more for constantly having his mind in disarray while composing.

So taehyun got up quietly, heading into beomgyu’s room to tear off the blankets and pillows (he’s got plenty of them) and then come back to the living room. He was way too tired to wake beomgyu up and somehow drag him back to his room, so he opted to do the next best thing. 

He dropped the blankets and pillows, and then bent to grip the legs of the coffee table, scooting it out of the way to give themselves more leg room. Then he threw a blanket over beomgyu and kept one for himself. He gently lifted beomgyu’s head up to place a pillow under there and tucked him in better. Beomgyu must sleep like a log because he didnt stir once. Then he got himself settled with his own pillow, closing his eyes for at least a few more hours. 

He turned onto his side away from beomgyu and maybe...he smiled a little to himself when he felt a warm body unconsciously press themselves closer against his back. 

~

Another week went by, and taehyun practically spent all of beomgyu’s free time over at his place. 

“Hey beomgyu hyung?” taehyun called out. He was currently sprawled across beomgyu’s bed while the older boy was at his desk typing away on his laptop. He had a few assignments to finish. Taehyun was still on probation.

“Hmm?” beomgyu hummed, letting him know he was paying attention. Taehyun smiled at that, turning his head to study beomgyu’s side profile. He finds he does that a lot. 

“Do you think its weird to get a snake as a first pet?” he asked. He knows he’s already voiced this question once before, but he really wants to hear what beomgyu has to say. For some reason beomgyu’s opinion matters more than anyone else’s. 

“What? A snake?” beomgyu repeated, finishing up a paragraph. Taehyun didnt realize he was holding his breath in wait. “No, not really. I mean, me personally? I'm not a huge fan of snakes, but if you really want one then go for it. I'm more of a parrot type of person anyways.” 

Wait, taehyun didnt see that coming. He sat up, looking at beomgyu closely. The other boy didnt notice as he continued working. 

“A parrot?” he chuckled in disbelief. 

“Yeah! Like, those amazon rainforest parrots? Ive always thought having one would be cool! I’d teach it to speak and it will call hyuka stupid every time he visits, and he can fly around outside.” beomgyu then pouted in thought. “But i dont think my apartment neighbors would appreciate a bird squawking all day and night, so i gotta wait till i get my own home. One with a huge backyard and lots of trees. Im hoping it will be soon, because i read once that parrots can live up to 50 years! I dont want the poor thing to outlive me, i just think that would be so cruel. I gotta get one while im young right now, y’know? Oh! And i want a golden retriever too,” beomgyu rambled, getting excited. 

Taehyun watched with a smile while beomgyu continued on. 

_Finally,_ someone who doesnt think he’s weird. Someone who accepts all of his strange quirks. 

“I'm going to name him Toto,” beomgyu said, spinning in his chair to look at taehyun. “I’ve already decided.”

“There’s this...small little red snake that i thought was the cutest,” taehyun admitted quietly. 

“Ohhh that sounds nice! Smaller snakes i can handle, its those big python looking ones that freak me out,” beomgyu laughed. “Have you thought of a name if you ever decide to get one?”

Taehyun pursed his lips, thinking hard for a second. Then he got a great idea. 

“Aengdu. I wanna name him aengdu.” 

“That’s a perfect name!” beomgyu clapped happily. 

~

“Here,” taehyun said softly, walking up behind beomgyu in his small kitchen. Beomgyu was at the fridge, getting himself some cola, and juice for taehyun. 

Beomgyu looked over his shoulder in curiosity, then shut the fridge and placed the drinks onto the counter. 

Taehyun held out his hand, his fist clenched around something small. 

“What is it?” beomgyu wondered, stepping closer to hold out his palm.

“It took me a while, but i finally got it back for you,” taehyun said, a touch of anger in his voice at the memory of that day a few weeks ago.

Beomgyu’s fingertips brushed taehyun’s skin, and yeah, his heart skipped a beat for a second there. 

Taehyun released his hold and dropped the usb flash drive into beomgyu’s waiting hand. Then he studied beomgyu’s face closely. 

“Wait, is this...my flashdrive?” beomgyu ended the question on a whisper. 

“Yeah, I guess you forgot it in the computer lab, and the little punk took it without returning it. You should be more careful with your music,” taehyun explained. 

Beomgyu looked back down at the flashdrive, then back up at taehyun. He set it down carefully on the countertop next to the drinks and just flung himself at taehyun in an unexpected bone crushing hug. 

“Thank you, for everything,” he muttered into taehyun’s ear, deep sincerity in his voice.

Taehyun was startled no doubt, but also beomgyu felt nice and warm, and he was happy to help the older boy in any way he could. He wrapped his arms around beomgyu’s shoulders, returning the hug without hesitation. 

“It was nothing, really,” he said, a little shy at all the praise he was getting. 

Beomgyu released the hug and drew back a little bit to glare at taehyun with a pout. “It was more than nothing! You have a mark on your school record now, and it would've been even worse if professor min didnt vouch for you!” beomgyu continued to chew him out...

Taehyun was listening, really he was. But also he was very very distracted.

Beomgyu's face was so close,  _ too _ close. Taehyun's gaze flicked down to his lips which were still moving, and then back up to his intense stare, and then back down to his lips and he just- 

He couldn't take it anymore. 

He surged forward, catching beomgyu by surprise, and he kissed him. He melded his lips to beomgyu's, and-

_ Oh. _

_ Oh wow.  _

His entire body seemed to like kissing beomgyu  _ a lot. _

His heart was practically doing palpitations, his lips tingling from where they connected to beomgyu's. His skin was on fire and he needed more, more,  _ more. _

But that wasn't fair to beomgyu.

In a gasp of breath, he reluctantly separated from beomgyu and took several steps backwards, his entire body and mind screaming in protest. 

More, they begged him. He wants so much more of beomgyu.

_ "Shit!" _ He swore loudly, his chest heaving with gasps, his face flushed and heated. The pit of his stomach erupted with arousal and he wanted to feel beomgyu against him again. 

Beomgyu looked dazed and so so pretty, his lips red from where taehyun wasn't the least bit gentle with them, his eyes filled with lust and a bit hazy, small breathy pants coming out as he processed what just happened. 

"Shit I'm sorry- I'm so sorry. I..." He gulped, looking at beomgyu with wide eyes. "I couldn't help it. Your face was just there, and my body just moved on its own-"

He was rambling, his entire body lit up from the inside out. 

"Taehyun it's okay-" beomgyu snapped out of his daze. 

But taehyun kept going.

"No, that's a fucking lie. I  _ wanted _ to kiss you. My body didn't react on its own, I let it. You just feel and taste so  _ incredible _ and-"

Taehyun has officially lost it.

He paused, just staring at beomgyu, licking his lips, wishing he was instead licking beomgyu's lips, and kissing his neck and collarbones and anywhere he could get his hands on. 

"Taehyun?" Beomgyu asked, a little furrow of concern gathering at his brows. 

"I'm gonna do it," he muttered. 

"Do what?" Beomgyu asked a bit hesitantly. 

"I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kiss you again. I want to kiss you again so  _ badly," _ taehyun admitted, his eyes zeroing in on beomgyu's lips once more. His heart fluttered at the thought of feeling beomgyu, wanting his hands all over him. The previous kiss was too short, too rushed. 

"Beomgyu I'm about to kiss you so long and so hard, and if you aren't okay with that then I need you to stop me right now." 

He took a step closer to beomgyu, his face dead serious. His fingers were aching to bury themselves into beomgyu's hair, or to trace down his neck, or to grip his waist tightly. 

Another step closer. Still beomgyu did not move or protest. 

One more step, and now he could feel beomgyu's warmth against his own skin, that's how close he was once again. 

"Beomgyu, tell me to stop," he whispered, his voice hoarse with the effort to hold himself back. 

"I don't want you to stop," beomgyu said quietly, blinking long dark lashes at taehyun. That seemed to be the last straw.

Beomgyu barely managed to finish his words when suddenly taehyun’s lips were back on his. 

Taehyun's fingers finally got their wish, one hand threading through beomgyu's hair, the other wrapping around his waist and dragging his body against his own so that they were aligned with each other, fitting so perfectly together. 

This kiss wasn't like the first one. It was even better. It was soft, gentle. Taehyun coaxed beomgyu's lips to melt with his own, just a small pressure back and forth as they both moved. But then taehyun was impatient, or maybe it was beomgyu, it was impossible to tell at this point, and soon the kiss got more heated, more desperate. 

Beomgyu gripped taehyun's shirt collar with both hands, keeping him still while he deepened the kiss. Taehyun let out a few puffs of breath every time their lips separated just the smallest fraction. Both of their lungs were begging for air, but neither one of them wanted to part. Until finally they had to.

Beomgyu pulled away with a loud smack and a smaller suck onto taehyun's bottom lip that drove the younger boy crazy. Taehyun could feel his heavy breaths against his face, both of them gasping in lungfuls of oxygen for a few seconds. 

And then their eyes met, and they both dove right back in. Their teeth clashed slightly in the rush to feel more of each other, but neither of them cared. Beomgyu's hands were still tangled in taehyun's shirt, devouring taehyun's lips with an aggression taehyun didn't realize beomgyu had. Not that he was complaining. 

Beomgyu forced taehyun's lips apart, his tongue tracing the small gap, before taehyun completely opened up for him. He hummed in satisfaction, licking softly inside taehyun's mouth, loving the small  _ 'mmm's _ that taehyun was releasing into his own mouth. 

Taehyun shoved at his body, using his grip on beomgyu's waist to guide him backwards against the counter while beomgyu continued to deepen the kiss, his tongue now deeper, more bold. He pressed into beomgyu even harder, feeling chills run all over his body at where they touched. 

It was all too much for him, but still not  _ enough. _ He was starting to realize that it will never be enough for him. He could kiss beomgyu forever, and he will always be coming back for more. His craving for the older boy will never be satisfied. 

It seemed to be the same for beomgyu as well, if by the way his tongue was now tangling with taehyun's was any indication to go on. 

Their lungs protested once more, and they had to snap apart again. But taehyun was far from being done, so he traced his lips across beomgyu's jaw and down his neck, his breath hot and heavy against beomgyu's skin while his teeth scraped and his lips sucked, leaving small red marks. Nothing too serious to be noticeable, but enough to make beomgyu's pulse quicken with the undivided attention taehyun was giving him. Taehyun could feel it pound against his tongue while licking and soothing a little red spot he planted there. 

Beomgyu could tell he was smiling against his neck, no doubt the younger boy enjoying the way he was making him feel. 

"If this didn't feel so good, I would totally smack you for leaving a hickey," beomgyu panted, his eyes half lidded and his face flushed with arousal. 

"It's worth it," taehyun muttered against beomgyu's skin, making his way back up. He captured beomgyu's lips again, and they proceeded to make out for many more minutes, losing track of time. 

Taehyun didn't hold back on his promise from earlier, kissing beomgyu long and hard with an underlying desperation that beomgyu felt as well. It felt too good to be true, his stomach full of flutters, his pulse pounding from excitement, his skin flushed from touching beomgyu all over, the overwhelming feel of beomgyu's hands equally all over him. He was learning quickly that beomgyu was greedy, a little bit needy, and a whole lot of possessive. And that just made taehyun enjoy it even more. 

He never wanted to stop. But despite how much they wanted each other, they needed to eventually part. They needed to calm down, catch their breaths, slow down their pulses, give their swollen lips a break. 

But that was okay, taehyun reasoned. He could always dive right back into tasting beomgyu a few seconds later, a minute later, an hour later. As many times as he wanted. And you better believe he wanted to many more times. 

Beomgyu wasn't complaining though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to gyu!


	9. Don't Worry, I Won't Cry.

“Taehyun, why did you kiss me?” beomgyu asked a few days later. He was currently playing with taehyun’s fingertips across the table. He always needed to fuss with something, a habit that should be annoying but taehyun secretly finds cute. 

Taehyun didnt move his arm, opting to have to do his homework with one hand. He was swamped with work now that his probation is over. And he has a few makeup exams the next couple of days. 

“Because i wanted to,” taehyun replied, turning a page of his textbook. Beomgyu gently and loosely fit his fingers into the spaces between taehyun’s, and taehyun tightened it, locking them in place. Still, he didnt look up from his work. 

Beomgyu stared at their joined hands with a smile on his lips, liking the way it looked. “What about heeseung though?” he wondered quietly. He was afraid to bring it up until now. 

Taehyun frowned in thought. “Oh yeah. I ended it with him a few weeks ago,” he said casually. 

Beomgyu sat up straighter, staring at taehyun from across his small kitchen table. His hand was still being held tightly by the other boy. “Wait, what?” He was shocked and a little confused, not expecting that answer. Can you blame him though?

Taehyun shrugged, “im going to be completely honest, you were right. It was stupid of me to take his offer. In the end, I just couldnt return his feelings like he hoped.” 

“But why?” beomgyu blinked at him. 

Taehyun finally looked up from his textbook, giving beomgyu such an intense heated stare. 

“Because i realized he wasn't you,” he whispered. 

Beomgyu...was at a loss for words. 

It was silent as they both just stared at each other for several seconds, neither of them breaking eye contact. The air between them grew hot and electrified, and finally beomgyu was the first to react. He pulled his hand away from taehyun’s, then he got up from his chair and walked around the table. 

Taehyun waited to see what beomgyu was going to do, his pulse thrumming through his body the closer beomgyu got. He felt cool fingertips sliding through his blonde hair, and then his head was tugged upward so that beomgyu could have better access to his lips, not hesitating to connect them. Taehyun smiled into the kiss, humming and licking beomgyu’s lips in return. 

They both got carried away for a bit there, until beomgyu asked taehyun in-between kisses,

“So will...you be...my boyfriend?” 

Taehyun pulled away, looking confused and licking the familiar taste of beomgyu that he liked from his own lips. “Why do you have to ask? I thought it was obvious that we were together now.”

Beomgyu laughed softly, hitting taehyun’s shoulder. “Kissing me doesnt mean we are automatically official. I wanted to be clear that we were dating and its not just some dream im having.”

Oh. Taehyun didnt think of that. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, leaning up slightly from his chair and giving beomgyu a quick peck. “I just figured it was obvious you were mine now, that’s all.”

“Stop...saying stuff like that, i cant take it,” beomgyu whispered, his face going a little bit red. 

“I should have been more straightforward, but then i needed to kiss you so badly and i sort of forgot about everything else. So really, this is _your_ fault for being so pretty and making my mind go crazy,” taehyun laughed, dodging another whack from beomgyu. 

“That was the meanest but sweetest apology ive ever heard,” beomgyu hissed, turning away to go get some snacks from the kitchen. A pull on his wrist stopped him in his tracks. 

“Wait, one more,” taehyun mumbled, dragging beomgyu down and giving beomgyu such a needy kiss that he was left feeling tingly and very hot all over. Taehyun practically devoured his lips, and then ended it abruptly with a smack. 

He stood up to gather his things, it was time to go to the gym. “I'll see you tomorrow?” 

“Uh huh,” beomgyu nodded in a daze, his lips swollen and looking thoroughly kissed.

Taehyun smirked and then left, feeling very smug that only _he_ can make beomgyu look like that. 

~ 

Lunch now was like how it used to be. Things seemed to finally go back to normal. Beomgyu and hyuka rejoined their lunch table in the dining hall, with beomgyu taking his designated spot next to taehyun. 

There was only one difference though. 

Now taehyun had his arm over beomgyu’s shoulders, a foot wrapped around beomgyu’s chair leg to scoot him closer, and his entire body was leaning in to feel even the smallest bit of contact from the older boy. They shared food, as long as it wasnt seafood that day. And they quietly talked amongst themselves if they werent contributing to the rest of the conversation. 

Soobin and yeonjun were happy for them, and hyuka was beyond ecstatic that he gets to sit with everyone again. It was lonely with so much emotional and physical distance from the others. 

“Ok! I finished saving everyone’s contacts in my phone to something cute!” hyuka clapped happily. 

Beomgyu snorted, “you are just now doing that?” 

“Why, do you have everyone’s numbers set as something cute already?” hyuka hissed over at beomgyu from across the table. 

Beomgyu gave him a smug look. "Of course! My contact for taehyunnie is _'sweetest most perfect hyunnie loml'_ beomgyu announced proudly, showing his phone to everyone. Then he looked over at taehyun, who had a bored expression on his face. "What did you save me as?" He asked, all excited. 

"Choi beomgyu hyung," taehyun answered immediately, scooping some meat into his mouth without looking up. 

Hyuka snorted out his juice, spitting some on soobin. Yeonjun patted his back as he coughed and laughed. 

Beomgyu's face fell to an expression of horror. "You're lying!" He insisted, a pout forming on his lips. 

"Nope, see?" And then taehyun showed him his phone with the contact name. 

"I thought you would have me saved as something pretty?! What the hell is that horrible name?" Beomgyu whined at taehyun indignantly.

"It's literally _your_ name?" Taehyun said matter of factly. 

"Change it right now," beomgyu was dead serious.

"What? No," taehyun argued back. 

Beomgyu lunged for the phone. "Change it to something cute and affectionate! I'm your boyfriend and I deserve it!" 

"Honestly, you expected to be lovey-dovey from _taehyun_ of all people? Why did you even fall for him then if you're this demanding for love and affection?" yeonjun said curiously and with a snort, shaking his head. "Remind me again why you two are dating." 

Beomgyu and taehyun both paused, beomgyu's hands halfway around taehyun’s throat and taehyun's hand smooshed into beomgyu's cheek while his other one held his phone out of reach. 

"You're one to talk," taehyun said with a scoff. "You practically hang on soobin like a monkey and constantly whine when he so much as breathes air without you."

"Yeah and you are always forcing soobin to do cringey ass shit like feeding you in public and wiping your lips off with napkins," beomgyu added without missing a beat.

Yeonjun looked back and forth between the two while they tag teamed him, and then he sighed. "Oh yeah, _that's_ why you two are perfect for each other. Thanks for reminding me," he said sarcastically. 

~

Beomgyu huffed as he made his way out of the dining hall and towards the computer lab. He speed walked, trying to ditch taehyun.

Yes, he’s still upset by the very uncute name taehyun listed him as on his phone. 

Taehyun followed behind, showing no emotion at all. He wasnt even bothered by beomgyu’s cranky mood. 

When they finally reached a quiet hallway that led to a computer lab not many people on campus knew about, taehyun quickly reached out and gripped beomgyu’s wrist. He shoved beomgyu around a corner so they were out of sight just in case anybody happened to walk by, and then he pressed beomgyu against the wall.

“I already apologized. How long are you going to be in a bad mood?” taehyun asked quietly, pressing his entire body against beomgyu so that he couldnt escape. The older boy was sneaky like that. 

“As long as i want, now go away. I have homework to do and you have a class soon,” beomgyu said, turning his face away from taehyun and trying to shove him off half-heartedly. 

Taehyun was quiet for a few seconds, until he finally sighed. He brought a hand up and gently gripped beomgyu’s chin, turning his head so that he was facing him.

"I don't need a fancy name or whatever on my phone because I have your number already memorized. That way no matter where I'm at I can always call you," taehyun told him bluntly and honestly. 

Beomgyu stood frozen, just staring at taehyun’s face and heated gaze and-

"Be right back. I'm going to go sob in the bathroom for 30 minutes," beomgyu said. He was literally dead serious, his eyes watery and everything. 

Just as he was trying to worm his way out of taehyun’s hold for a second time, taehyun snorted and pressed into him even more so that there was not a single breath of space left between them. Beomgyu's lips were so very close and they looked very inviting to taehyun. 

"I'm serious! You can't just say things like that kang taehyun, my heart is going to stop beating, are you listening to me?-" beomgyu started to chew him out, but then taehyun was cupping his cheek softly and leaning closer.

"Mhmm," taehyun hummed, smiling as he leaned in and kissed beomgyu like he's been desperate to do all day. He released a breath of content when their lips parted briefly, then they adjusted again so that they were impossibly close. Taehyun's hand was now cradling the back of beomgyu's head, his fingertips wrapped up in the dark soft hair. Beomgyu's lips were addicting, and tasted a little bit like the juice he was drinking earlier, and taehyun basically took all that he wanted from his mouth for many minutes until they finally separated. 

"Are you still mad at me?" Taehyun asked, slightly out of breath.

Beomgyu blinked the lustful lashes at him and took a second to catch his breath before answering. 

"You're forgiven," he sniffed. 

Taehyun grinned, kissing him on the cheek and just wrapping his hands around his waist, hugging him tight to his body. 

~

Taehyun was in the middle of a makeup exam when it happened. 

It was just him and one of his professors, staying after class so that taehyun could catch up and pass the semester. He had his phone on silent, they weren't permitted during an exam, so he supposes that’s why he was unable to answer the many phone calls he received. 

The door to the classroom was yanked open, and yeonjun came barreling in looking frantic and disheveled. He was breathing heavily like he just ran a marathon. 

Taehyun didnt know what happened, but the look in yeonjun’s eyes was enough not to question it. He immediately stood up from his seat, packing up his things. 

“I'm sorry professor, its an emergency, otherwise i wouldn't be interrupting the exam,” yeonjun babbled half-heartedly, half his body already out the door.

The professor didn't even have a chance to get a word in, blinking in shock when taehyun handed in his unfinished exam and was out the door right on yeonjun’s heels. 

“Where are we going?” taehyun asked frantically, keeping up with yeonjun’s slightly longer legs. 

“The hospital,” was all yeonjun said. 

And really, he didnt have to say anything more. Taehyun heard his unspoken words loud and clear. 

~

Once on the fourth floor west wing of the hospital, they both raced down the hallway, speeding past the rooms and medical equipment until they finally came to a familiar room number. 

Taehyun stopped dead in his tracks, surveying the area. He saw people, lots and lots of people.

But not the one person he absolutely needed to get to. 

His eyes flicked to the hospital room and then at the few people crying and moving around and then…

He spotted hyuka, sobbing uncontrollably and being held in beomgyu’s arms. 

Beomgyu’s face was...blank. A look of defeat. It was impossible to describe.

And then... everything seemed to happen in slow motion and fast forward all at once. The noises in the hallway suddenly vanished, like it all got sucked up into a vacuum and the only thing left was a weird buzzing sound. All he could hear was his own racing pulse pounding in his ears and his harsh breathing from running so fast. 

Taehyun slowly closed his eyes, ignoring the sting behind his eyelids. He wished this could be a bad dream, just a horrible nightmare he could wake up from. But it wasn't, and he has to move forward, move his body, go to him. 

Taehyun waited patiently while beomgyu talked with the doctors, signed some papers, being calm and composed in what must be a devastating time for him. 

Hyuka was an example of exactly how they all felt. He cried and cried, clinging to beomgyu’s chest and muttering condolences and other words that were unable to be understood in between the gasps of breath he was trying to take. Beomgyu rubbed his back trying to comfort and calm him down, muttering soft words of reassurance. 

Finally, soobin stepped forward, patting hueningkai’s head with kindness. He's been there for a while. He must have been the first to arrive while yeonjun went to get taehyun. 

Hyuka looked up, sniffled, and then flung himself into soobin’s waiting arms. Beomgyu gave soobin a weak smile of thanks while he was herded off with hospital staff. Yeonjun was also silently crying, hiding his face in soobin’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around hyuka for extra comfort. 

Mustering all of his courage, taehyun stepped into beomgyu’s path before he was gone for good. He went to speak, he opened his mouth intending to say something. 

_I'm here for you._

_Don't worry, i’ll be here as long as you need me._

However, beomgyu beat him to it. 

“I think...i'm going to need a little bit of time to myself. If that's ok?” he asked, his eyes pleading for taehyun to understand. To know its nothing personal, he just needs a few moments to gather his composure while he deals with all of this. 

Taehyun shut his mouth, nodding. “Of course, anything you need.”

Before beomgyu could walk around taehyun and go to the waiting staff, he whispered one last thing. 

With a face of steel and strength, he said,

“Don't worry, I won't cry.” 

Taehyun turned as he watched beomgyu’s retreating back get farther away. His shoulders were strong and carried so much all by themselves. 

The words sounded like they were intended to let taehyun know that he will be alright. That he won't let anybody down during this time of crisis.

  
  


So then why does taehyun get the feeling beomgyu wasn’t trying to reassure him? Why did it seem like beomgyu wasn’t even talking to him at all? 

Because to taehyun, it sounded like a promise beomgyu was trying to make with himself. 

It was almost as if beomgyu knew that once he cried, he may never be able to stop.


	10. I'm Here With You

The next few days were a blur for everyone. 

The funeral and service came and went. Of course taehyun and the others were there for beomgyu, helping out in whichever way they could. Taehyun hovered, but he sensed that beomgyu wasnt up for any talking or physical comfort right now. He respected beomgyu’s wishes and kept a small distance. He wasnt upset because he probably would ask the same thing of everyone else if the roles were reversed. The last thing taehyun needed in a time of despair was people to close in on him and make it feel like he was being smothered. 

He stuck close to beomgyu throughout the entire funeral, his eyes watchful and wary. He didnt want anyone to so much as breathe negatively at the older boy. He will not tolerate it. 

To his surprise, a few of their classmates even went to pay their respects. Jay, heeseung, niki, and a few of their friends came in to say their condolences. Taehyun tensed up so hard when he saw them, expecting for there to be trouble, but to his relief it didnt seem to be the case. 

Beomgyu thanked everyone that walked up to him, nodding and giving everyone a fake smile. He reassured countless people that he will be fine, to not worry about him, and he made so many empty promises to contact them in answer to their weak attempts at offering him help in case he needs it. 

Taehyun clenched his fists and kept quiet, not saying much to anybody. He only spoke when spoken to and smiled when appropriate. Yeonjun and soobin thankfully took on the brunt of the people, ushering them in and out, keeping things moving along. It was a huge weight off beomgyu’s shoulders and taehyun will forever be grateful for them. 

Hyuka handled the emotional aspect of everything. He gave a wonderful speech in beomgyu’s place, talking about what an amazing mother and woman she was. He hugged people that cried, and patted backs to the people that needed comfort. 

Towards the end of the service, taehyun heard a group of people whispering, saying how they found it strange that the deceased’s son didnt even shed one tear or talk about his mother in her memory. He was going to go over there and kick them out, but yeonjun beat him to it.

With a dazzling smile and a kind gesture, yeonjun walked the group of people out, engaging them in some friendly conversation. They were entranced by his good looks and smooth personality, and off to the side soobin breathed out a breath of relief once yeonjun got rid of them. 

Taehyun noticed that soobin must have been on a strong lookout. He watched everyone in the room like a hawk, and seemed to have a sixth sense for when things started to turn sour. Then he’d send his boyfriend off to take care of it since yeonjun was better at it. 

Yes, soobin would be a wonderful psychologist, taehyun concluded with a small smile of appreciation and a whole lot of respect. 

Even though taehyun saw beomgyu almost every single day, he has never felt farther apart. It was more tortuous than when beomgyu decided to give him some distance. 

The funeral ended, and things started to go back to normal. Beomgyu was granted some time off from classes thanks to soobin and yeonjun interfering and going to each of his professors. Hyuka went to as many classes as he could in beomgyu’s place, recording the lectures and taking notes for him. 

And taehyun…

Taehyun is currently sitting on the couch in his living room, sighing at his phone yet again. 

Yes he respected beomgyu’s need for space, but that was _days_ ago. He was so damn worried about him and he just wanted to make sure he was ok, that he was eating well, was he sleeping at night? He needed to _know._

Of course he’s tried texting, sending small words of comfort and other things to cheer him up. But no answer, as was to be expected. Then he tried calling once or twice, leaving a voicemail, but naturally those went unanswered too. 

Taehyun threw his phone on the other couch cushion, glaring at yet another unanswered message. He cares about beomgyu so much to the point of freaking out, okay? 

Then he finally snapped. Again. This happens quite often now. 

He took one of the couch pillows he was leaning against, and he stood up and threw it at his poor phone. Then he threw the other couch cushion somewhere in the room, and he kicked the back of the couch in irritation. 

“Why wont he answer?! That stupid beautiful boy is probably in pain and i need to be there with him and-” he ranted angrily. 

“Hyungs, taehyun is throwing shit again and going on another rampage!” hyuka called to the other room where soobin and yeonjun were. He was at the kitchen table playing a game on his phone, also not sure what to do since beomgyu basically closed himself off from the world. 

“Taehyun, how many times do we have to tell you that just because you're stressed doesnt mean you can throw things in the living room,” soobin lectured as he walked down the hall. 

“I think its funny,” yeonjun snickered behind his boyfriend. 

“Yeah it wont be funny to you when you are all by yourself cleaning up his mess,” soobin threw behind him over his shoulder. That shut yeonjun up.

Taehyun glared at soobin and the rest of them, not saying anything as he caught his breath from his mini temper tantrum. It wasnt often he lost his temper to this degree, but when he did, you can best bet that he will be throwing the closest thing near him (gently of course. He wasnt stupid enough to be destructive). 

“Hey hyungs?” he finally called out, gaining their attention. Yeonjun moved to go sit with hyuka at the table, and soobin went to the fridge to get taehyun a drink to hopefully calm him down. 

“Yeah?” soobin answered calmly. 

The words that beomgyu last spoke to him have never left his mind, swirling around and taunting him. It just didnt sit right with him, and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

_‘Don’t worry, I won’t cry.’_

“Is it considered weak to cry a lot?” taehyun asked them. 

Yeonjun tilted his head, curious. “What do you mean?” 

Taehyun looked a bit hesitant, his face pinched up in concentration, unsure of how to get his thoughts across. “I mean, would it be considered weak to just break down and cry? I personally dont think so. What’s so bad about crying? I dont get it.” he shook his head. 

“Maybe the person doesnt want to look vulnerable in front of others while they cry?” yeonjun suggested. “I know i hate showing people that side of me.” 

Soobin walked through the small kitchen and into the living room where taehyun was standing there like a lost soul. He handed taehyun a drink, and then smiled sadly. Soobin always seemed to have a better grasp of these things than others. 

“Yeonjun is right, most people dont cry in front of others because it makes them look weak and vulnerable. No one wants to look like that. But there’s also another reason why someone might not want to cry, something most people dont think about.” 

“What’s that?” taehyun asked him desperately. 

What soobin said next really felt like a punch to taehyun’s chest. 

“Sometimes crying might mean they have to admit to themselves it has become too much…” soobin began softly. “Sometimes... people cry not because they are weak, but because they have been strong for too long.” 

~

It didnt take long for taehyun to gather a few of his things and then head over to beomgyu’s place. 

He glared up at the apartment building with a frown on his lips. Beomgyu has isolated himself for long enough. Its time for someone to come in and help shoulder the burden. 

Beomgyu will probably be pissed at taehyun for breaking his promise of giving him space. He might not even want to see him or be near him. Taehyun might even be overstepping his boundaries. 

But one thing was for sure, taehyun would regret it if he didnt at least try. Beomgyu being mad at him was a hell of a lot better than him being closed off and distant. 

Taehyun’s never cared about someone this much, not like this, and it scares him to even think about beomgyu being all by himself. 

So he marched up to beomgyu’s floor and he held up his hand about to knock or ring the doorbell and-

He thought better of it. 

Instead he punched in beomgyu’s four digit code in the lock: taehyun’s birthday backwards. Ok so taehyun might have noticed when beomgyu shamelessly opened his door many times right in front of taehyun. And yeah, taehyun kind of thought it was cute that he used his birthday. At least he was clever enough to make it backwards in case someone tried guessing. After all, beomgyu's affection for taehyun was not unnoticed at campus or to anyone who knows him. 

But taehyun notices everything, so you cant really blame him for this. 

He slowly and carefully opened the door to the apartment, guiltily letting himself inside, and then closing the door and making sure it shut properly. 

He took off his shoes and…

The place was quiet. A bit dark except for the small light above the kitchen sink. Almost as if it was empty. 

It was weird, and it did not help settle taehyun’s panic at all. He was used to beomgyu’s place being warm, lit up, music playing somewhere, his things haphazardly thrown around and not in their proper place. 

Now it just seemed cold and unused. 

Taehyun softly made his way through the place, setting down his bag of personal items onto the couch. Then he looked around, taking a deep breath and mustering his courage to go to the back of the apartment.

He neared beomgyu’s room, noticing the door slightly cracked open and dark inside. It was night time after all, so taehyun wasnt surprised it was dark. Beomgyu loved his sleep. 

Biting his lip, he toed open the door with his socked foot, and prepared himself for a yelling of a lifetime at intruding, or possibly getting things thrown at him, or maybe even getting kicked out or-

Taehyun stopped at the doorway, and all those thoughts immediately flew out of his mind. 

His heart seemed to break into a million little pieces at the sounds of sobs and sniffles, and horrible intakes of breath. Literally, a god awful pain traveled through his chest at the sight of beomgyu sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed, his knees up to his chest while he covered his face. 

His cries weren’t loud like hyuka’s. They were quiet and filled with such a bone crushing heartache, and for some reason that was so much worse for taehyun.

Immediately taehyun entered the room, walking over and sitting down on the ground next to beomgyu, shoulder to shoulder. He made sure they were touching, to let beomgyu know that he was there and not going anywhere. They stayed like that for several minutes, taehyun secretly glad he wore warm sweats instead of jeans since the position wasnt that comfortable, until finally taehyun gently and hesitantly wrapped an arm around beomgyu’s shoulders, bringing him a little closer into his side. 

Beomgyu didnt shrug off his arm, which was a relief to taehyun, and he was content in just sitting like this for as long as beomgyu needed. 

But then beomgyu’s crying paused, and taehyun was caught off guard when suddenly beomgyu turned quickly and buried himself into taehyun’s chest, crying much much harder. 

Taehyun used his strength to pull beomgyu more firmly into his lap, wrapping his arms and legs around the older boy, almost as if he could protect beomgyu from everything bad in the world. But he couldnt, so he hugged him tighter into his embrace, ignoring the way his own eyes watered and stung while he blinked, and focused on rubbing his hands up and down beomgyu’s back. His shirt was getting ruined, all wrinkled in beomgyu’s clutch and wet from his tears. He didnt even care that beomgyu was basically using it as a tissue for his nose.

Beomgyu sobbed and cried, and all taehyun could do was comfort him the best he could. He rocked them from side to side a little bit, and he alternated from rubbing beomgyu’s back to patting his hair. He kissed the top of his head and muttered soft words of love.

What could he possibly say in a moment like this? 

That everything is okay now? Because obviously its not. That was a stupid sentiment, and taehyun wont insult beomgyu like that. 

Dont worry, it will get better with time? Sure, it will someday be not as painful. But that day wasn’t any time soon, and beomgyu already knows this. He doesnt need to hear that. 

Sometimes, the best thing to do is just to be there for them. To recognize that they are feeling pain, and are heartbroken, and that they dont need to be fixed immediately. To be a strong presence or maybe a comforting shoulder to cry on while they go through the emotions. Not everybody needs pretty words to feel better. 

They just need someone by their side, letting them know,

_‘I’m here with you. I feel your pain, and I’ll still be here with you.’_

Beomgyu cried for a long time that night, until finally he tired himself out and fell asleep in taehyun’s arms. 

~

Beomgyu woke up late the next morning feeling worn out and drained, but also warm. A familiar scent he liked a lot enveloped him making things just a little bit better. 

He quickly realized he was no longer on the floor, instead wrapped up with blankets and his pillow under his head. He was on his bed, and he wasnt alone. His face was still pressed into a chest he recognizes as being safe and comforting and for right now in this moment: a lifeline. 

Burying his face into taehyun again, his eyes started to water once more. He sniffled and noticed taehyun must have been up already, running his fingers through his hair and just trailing his fingertips all over him... well as much as taehyun could touch with all the blankets surrounding them. 

“She was the only family i had left,” beomgyu gasped out after a while. It was the first words he’s spoken since taehyun arrived last night. “Now i'm all alone,” he continued to cry, curling into taehyun even more.

Taehyun held him closer. “She might have been your family, and she might be gone now, but she certainly is not the _only_ family you had left. You have us now. You’ve always had me, and hyuka, and I swear if you weren't an adult already soobin and yeonjun would have adopted you by now. They’ve always wanted a family of their own.”

Beomgyu reluctantly sniffled out an air of laughter. It was a little brief thing, but it made taehyun feel so much better that he was able to lift beomgyu’s spirits even just a tiny bit. 

He traced his fingertips down the side of beomgyu’s face, coaxing beomgyu to finally look up at him. He complied and taehyun saw that his eyes were red and his lips were swollen from crying, but to taehyun he still looked as beautiful as ever. He cupped beomgyu’s cheek, using his thumb to gently wipe away some of the tear stains.

“And you listen to me, Choi Beomgyu,” he said in a serious and quiet tone. “Don’t you ever think you are alone. Not as long as I’m living, you got that?”

Taehyun seemed like he was waiting for an answer, so beomgyu nodded, his lips trembling again. 

That seemed to satisfy the younger boy, and he nodded his approval while kissing beomgyu’s lips so softly and delicately. Beomgyu realized it was a promise he was making to him. 

“Good,” taehyun said. “Now how about we call yeonjun and soobin and hyuka over, and make them cook us something light to eat? You think your stomach can handle something light? Like maybe soup? Or porridge?”

Beomgyu nodded again. “Yeah. ok.” then he said a little more clearly, “I want pancakes.” 

Taehyun bent down to kiss him again, cupping his face with both hands now. “Yeonjun makes some of the best,” he promised. Then he kissed each of beomgyu’s cheeks and his nose and his eyes, earning himself a rewarding breathy giggle.

**Author's Note:**

> Here are my twitter and cc accounts, so come follow me and don't hesitate to tell me how you feel!  
> @eternitxt03  
> curiouscat.me/eternitxt03


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